Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1
    Mike Dewitt Jr's Avatar
    Array

    School
    10th Planet Springfield
    Location
    Springfield OR
    Posts
    1,795

    What do you guys think?

    Constructive criticism or deconstructive criticism it doesnt matter. Thanks

    superherojiujitsuacademy.com
    http://www.defensesoap.com/idevaffil...ate.php?id=327
    10P4L
    F&V forever
    Ps 144:1 Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight:
    Ge 32:24 And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.
    Blackbelt 3/28/13

  2. #2
    John Alighieri's Avatar
    Array

    School
    10th Planet Riverside
    Location
    Riverside, CA
    Posts
    748
    Ok so in my opinion the video is first too long. Second thing, there's a lot of bits that can be removed where nothing is really happening. Keep it to a few seconds before a take down/ sweeps/ sub setup and after. You put on a lot of take downs that got stuffed and you butt scouting and shit that I don't think need to be on the video.
    Oh and last thing that soundtrack... the transition between Muse and the Foo Fighters makes me ears bleed lol

  3. #3

    Array

    School
    Going Rogue Again
    Location
    South London, England
    Posts
    940
    Protage!

  4. #4
    Brent Smith's Avatar
    Array

    School
    10th Planet Jiu Jitsu
    Location
    Medford, OR
    Posts
    5,810
    All in all it looks pretty good..John has some legit advice..the transition between songs def needs some changing
    #10thplanetFREAKS

  5. #5

    Array

    School
    10th Planet Rochester; 10th Planet St. Paul
    Location
    St. Paul, MN
    Posts
    810
    If the point is to send it to sponsors, you should cut it down to no more than a minute. I don't have any experience with MMA/jiu jitsu sponsors but I do with music sponsorships. You've got less than 30 seconds to spark their interest and then try to hold it for another 30. If you don't have them in that first 30 seconds they're just going to skip right past it. Think TV commercial -- you're trying to sell yourself as a walking ad campaign after all. Six minutes is an eternity for a promo pack. The first time I watched it, I watched it with the mindset of a sponsor and you lost me in the first match. It's got nothing to do with your jitz and everything to do with short-attention-span-theater. You've got some great material in there it just needs editing. I agree about the music transition right now, but that should be irrelevant in the end product. You won't have more than a minute of music anyway. Find a friend that couldn't care less about jiu jitsu and have them help you with the editing. They'll help you edit out the stuff *you* think is awesome but is meaningless to someone with no background. If you can sell him or her, you can sell a sponsor.

  6. #6
    Mike Dewitt Jr's Avatar
    Array

    School
    10th Planet Springfield
    Location
    Springfield OR
    Posts
    1,795
    Good to know, I will try to put up a more cut down attention grabbing short story. Thanks fellas
    superherojiujitsuacademy.com
    http://www.defensesoap.com/idevaffil...ate.php?id=327
    10P4L
    F&V forever
    Ps 144:1 Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight:
    Ge 32:24 And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.
    Blackbelt 3/28/13

  7. #7
    Mike Dewitt Jr's Avatar
    Array

    School
    10th Planet Springfield
    Location
    Springfield OR
    Posts
    1,795
    I shortened it up.

    superherojiujitsuacademy.com
    http://www.defensesoap.com/idevaffil...ate.php?id=327
    10P4L
    F&V forever
    Ps 144:1 Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight:
    Ge 32:24 And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.
    Blackbelt 3/28/13

  8. #8
    Mike Dewitt Jr's Avatar
    Array

    School
    10th Planet Springfield
    Location
    Springfield OR
    Posts
    1,795
    I wanted to make a new intro, so let me know if you like or don't.
    superherojiujitsuacademy.com
    http://www.defensesoap.com/idevaffil...ate.php?id=327
    10P4L
    F&V forever
    Ps 144:1 Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight:
    Ge 32:24 And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.
    Blackbelt 3/28/13

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •