One of my favorite personal rolls.

Trying to post a bit more. I had an upper belt tell me that I'm too nervous and shell up in competition because I put too much pressure on myself, and he recommended posting more videos of training to help me get over the nerves.

For me, at times just getting to a competition was winning a personal battle. It's a way of standing up for myself and proving to myself, more than anyone, that I am stronger than people think. I was always a sensitive kid and shy, super quiet so I've been bullied growing up my whole life at school and at home sometimes too. Ive dealt with a lot of anxiety as an adult. I tend to not be able to relax in Jiu Jitsu competition and really compete how I practice. But I'm learning to believe in myself more and more through hard work and dedication.

Jiu Jitsu gives me strength nothing else does. I'm very proud of this roll. I just let loose with my student and had a good time. Was glad to get it on camera. I really hope to be able to compete this freely someday.

https://www.facebook.com/10000830518...2231278063694/

Thanks for the response :)

I have tried several herbs and supplements in the past. I'm a medical cannabis patient with my state, and have experimented with competing with and without the use of cannabis.

I have used 5HTP and also tried the TPC from Onnit. Have used several different things from essential oils, to rescue remedy etc.

I would definitely be interested in finding out if I have adrenal fatigue. I do feel tired all the time.

But honestly, herbs and supplements will help. But I need to get my mind right. I have had a lifetime of being picked on, being shunned for being different, having no friends and not fitting in. I used to be the nicest kid, lol. But being quiet, different, nerdy, and sensitive didn't make you many friends where I grew up. Got beat up a lot, etc. had mostly birthdays were three people would be considered a big turnout.

I have absolutely no confidence around women, even if I don't find them attractive. I freeze, tense up, and I can't talk to them. The cuter the girl the more of a mumbling moron I become. Lol haven't had a gf in 3-4 years now lol. and I'm not ugly or anything
I have the same issues in conversations where I feel like my opinions are stupid compared to others.
I have the hardest time making eye contact with people, even friends. So I stay distant.

And in Jiu Jitsu, it affects my performance immensely. Rolling with new people, rolling with people I respect. I get in my own head way before we even touch fists.

It sucks, and how to fix it. lol
I'm definitely trying!! ��

The funny thing is that I understand entirely that I am living in my own mind and hinder only myself with these silly mental blocks, I just haven't been able to figure out what steps to take to get out of it.

I'm working on posting positive things, on instead of writing complaints on platforms like Facebook I have been trying to post things that inspire me or that I think would make people smile or feel better. I am really making big steps every single day conquer my demons and anyone that knows me well, really see that I make mad progress to not be a victim or to stay complacent. Complain less, love more. And to just produce love and good energy!

I am trying to post more videos of myself being silly and rolling freely, not caring what anyone else thinks. Its a crazy thing this life is and I'm doing my best to navigate it lol!

Thanks for watching and responding. Any recommendations for supplements would be great of course

Have you read Sam Sheridan's: The Fighter's Mind?

Every time I read the (or listen to the audio-book) Dan Gable or Randy Couture chapters I feel focused and ready to fight.

I appreciate you opening up, Stan. I had a similar upbringing in regards to being bullied, picked on, having very few people at birthdays, rarely had confidence with girls, etc. I see jiu jitsu as a religion. How so? If you look at any Christians, Muslims, Hindus, (insert religion here) you will invariably see that their motive in practicing their respective faith is exactly that. Faith. What is faith? It's more or less believing in something and the subsequent positive outcomes in practicing a lifestyle that will lead to good results down the road. What good results, exactly? Well, we don't know. That's why we call it faith. When I started as a white belt, I was 70 pounds heavier than I am now. I knew that if I blindly put my faith in jiu jitsu, good things would happen. What good things? I don't know, but good things. I have in fact made a lot of new friends, lost weight, have goals, have a community, have something that brings me happiness day in day out, all because I decided to hit up my local jiu jitsu gym a little over 4 years ago. I train most every day but rarely compete. I competed a bit as a white belt and early as a blue belt, but got turned off from it in many ways because of the competitive culture. I'm not a competitive guy, never have been. I love training, meeting new people, flowing, then rolling some more. I love the brain science aspect of jiu jitsu. Your roll that you posted is a perfect example of how I like to roll everyday. Since getting my purple belt, I've been a referee at a few tournaments and enjoy watching the emotions and effort that people put into this beautiful art. It's almost comical the pressure that some of these people put on themselves, especially the kids. "It's just jiu jitsu", I think to myself. After reffing some of these, I'm slowly getting the bug to want to compete again, but as my head instructor always says, doing so with the right intentions. Intention is everything. Compete to expose yourself, to test your strengths, to see where you are strong and where you are weak. Compete with the intention of establishing a sphere of influence and maximizing your opportunities. When Clark Gracie did a seminar here a while back, I asked him what his pre-match routine was. He says he likes to jump up and down and use the nervous energy he has and transform it into positive energy. All positivity. All positive. Positive reception of your opponent, positive perspective on your strategy, positive feeling towards the ambience, the crowd, the ref, just overall enjoying being in the moment and enjoying being there. Competition is such a small part of the journey, it shouldn't ever get you down. It's a tool for self-development, but it is not constitutive of the entire art. My advice, flow more, gain confidence in your sphere of influence, become a jiu jitsu purist (as if you're not one already:) and understand that competition is multifactorial. Diet, athleticism, cardio, various other factors come into play for a competition, but the purest jiu jitsu will lead the richest life on the mats, imho..at least in the long term.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Michael Steinmetz

Wow, I am going to have to respond when I have more time. Right now I'm preparing for a Cat-4 hurricane that is headed our way. I decided to take a little break and read some posts. Hang in there brother. I have a good feeling about you.

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Be safe out there! Look forward to hearing back!

Arman, I will reply to your message in detail when I see you this weekend. Thanks for sharing your story as well