Is kinda having a strange moment in life.

I have recently purchased Master The Twister book and just started reading the acknowledgments section . I've have found myself in ah over what I've just read. Last night before I started reading this section today ,I was looking up info on deep medation and clearing the mind which I struggle from most of the time and with my spiritual side of life. I usally do not speak of this but I'm feeling very open today and need to get this off my chest . When I was 17 I got kicked out of my dads and step moms house and started to live on my own. Me and my family didn't have a great relationship. So I moved in with a friend who was a girl and one thing lead to another and she got pargent and I totally changed straighten up and was preparing for this child, So a few months go by I come home to her in bed and her mom there , And her mother proceeded to tell me that the baby was aborted... Pretty much the most fucked up moment of my life. So I ran back to my moms after not seeing her after 8 years which was far away from what just happened with the child. So my mother being my mother decided to take me to a shrink :) And of course I was put on med's .... But after sometime it just made things worse , So I ended up going to a medium not my idea but my moms :) This guy kinda blew my mind and knew about the whole child thing before I even brought it up ! It was crazy!I had 5 sessions with the guy and then mother decided it wasn't working so we quit. Go figure. But anyway now in mylife years later married having a wife that had cancer for 2years we are more then likely not going to be able to have children which is really bothering me... So I'm wondering would mediation help with these thoughts and feelings?Or finding a medium again? I know this post doesn't have anything to do with jiu jitsu but just felt like sharing this... And I sure as hell wasn't going to post it on facebook. Thanks

Absolutely brother, medication is something you take to heal the body. Meditation is something you do to heal the mind.
I don't wanna tell you meditating will solve all your problems, but.....meditating will solve all your problems. lol It's really that potent if you do it with faith and conviction. also you were in "awe" not ah. lol cheers!
*I would start with some Zazen and after a while if you wish go on to more transcendental style meditation.

If you felt like it was helping you the first time theres no reason to think it wouldnt help you now. Good luck with the journey man

Did the medium help? Is it depression issues only or have you also grown with anger problems

I'm not a anger person what so ever. I'm actually the most positive person I have ever been. I'm basically just looking for away to quite my mind and find inner peace . I've been looking into Meditation and other things , I think the medium was helping , I found out he's stilling doing it so thinking about hitting him up .

Meditation bro. Start small with short durations of silence. Some find music helps but it always distracted me. It's a great journey and it's free. With what all you've already accomplished, it should be right up your alley. Good luck bro, it ain't easy. If it was, everyone would do it. It is indeed rewarding though. Holla if u got any questiones.

Have you ever done yoga?