Damn B Mac, you talk good, you jiu jitsu good and you talk jiu jitsu good.
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I think relaxing is smart in gi or nogi. If a water bed is on top of you, or a heavy stiff door, it's usually easier to move the door. That's a huge generalization, but the idea is pretty true. All the best nogi guys I've rolled with all are incredibly relaxed on top and incredibly heavy. I got to roll with Gui Mendes in the gi and nogi, and in both he was pound for pound the most pressure heavy person I've ever felt, and he wasn't stiff or tense at all.
By relaxing, you force the other person to carry all of your weight. It also makes you more sensitive to feeling the other person's movements so it sets you up to be better prepared for scrambles. Learning how to balance between being light and being heavy is hard and it takes a lot of time, but is important in gi and nogi both. In nogi you're going to have to scramble and move around a bit more, and in the gi there are spots where you can rest a little bit more. But I don't think you have to use your body differently in each one. Good grappling is good grappling. You can grapple in the gi and choose to not use many gi grips, like Marcelo Garcia or Jeff Glover. And in nogi, you can still have a very tight/pressure heavy game. You don't always have to be scrambly.
Hope this made sense.
Not to hijack because I think it's related, and I may get shit for this but in regards to squeezing for chokes, squeezing your ass off may help in competitions and against tough opponents, but you can squeeze for a hell of a lot longer if you just focus on getting the best angle and grips, and just maintaining pressure. Just like Brandon M. said, it's about selective tension. If you can maintain 70% pressure with the right angle and grips on a choke, it doesn't matter if it takes 5 seconds, or 50 seconds for them to go to sleep. It's very demoralizing when you just feel a constant but slow ramp up in pressure. If you have a RNC or a darce or an arm triangle, and you get so tired squeezing that you have to let go, chances are you need more practice relaxing and settling into the pressure.
Squeezing like an anaconda, ala Denny. A choke slowly, steadily, and consistently turned up to 100% is a crappy feeling, especially after you realize the only way out is a tap.
Squeezing to control, squeeze no more than you need to. Squeezing to submit, slow, steady, ever-increasing, never relaxing.
Going back to your original question about telegraphing...
I can often tell when a guy is gonna make his move based on not only his increase or decrease in tension, but in his breathing. Try to really take note of what your breath is doing before, during and after a movement/technique. I'm willing to bet that's where you're giving away your intentions.
We're saying the same thing, I think you either mistook what I meant by relaxing, or I picked the wrong word. When I say relaxing, I mean not freaking out and holding your breathe and gassing yourself out. I mean just being calm and relaxed and increasing the pressure. It's not even a thread hijack, I'll tie it in with the original post. I think staying calm, relaxed, and heavy pressure and finding the ability to switch between the fast-twitch explosiveness and the heavy control, that everything will work out just fine.
That's what I've noticed when I've rolled with some really high level guys. They aren't even exerting effort and they are in complete control. It's something to aspire to.