Which is where most of your problems probably originate.....at least on a technical level that is.
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You have to win the leverage battle first. Or they will be able to gunter and maul ya. There is always a position of skeletal/structural advantage that trumps muscular strength. Know the positional nuances better and get there first. Study,drill,roll. Forever.
Buy the Extreme Jumping Jacks 9 DVD set. Attachment 2201
Get a goat and carry it wherever you go. As you get stronger buy a bigger goat. According to google the smallest goat is a Nigerian Dwarf Goat weighing around 75 pounds. I think this would be a good starting point. Maybe get in touch with Onnit and see if they can release a goat weight exercise DVD. I'm thinking you could have the goat over your shoulders and do squats. Lie down and bench press the goat might also work.
You joke but one of my old instructors when he was young lived on a farm and everyday he picked up a horse his logic was that as the horse grew so would his strength and he would always be able to pick up the horse. But horses grow by like 20-50lbs in a month so you cannot keep up.
there are certain things that just work better on bigger or stronger guys. really, just learning how to move your body will help you fight these guys a lot better, but one example i can give you, is chokes over joint locks. i am 145 soaking wet. im probably not going to arm bar a power lifter with an ok understanding of defense. it just wont happen. however, i can choke this guy all the same. the strength doesn't figure in as much as it would for a joint lock. there are several more little things like this that will help you, but that is a start. :)
Dominate the inside space. Avoid getting cross faced at all cost. Use your butterfly hooks to compromise their base. Every limb needs to have a job. And last but not least check that oil..
But seriously, DOMINATE THE INSIDE SPACE!