Originally Posted by
Chris Ludington
I find competition to be extremely taxing on me. I've competed in the past. I've had good showings and bad showings. The one thing I have never been able to do is get over the after effect of losing. It's hard on my wife, it's hard on my family because it really does fuck with my head for weeks. I wake up thinking about it, I shower thinking about it, I go to bed thinking about it. But it's not a positive thing, it drags me down. I've always felt like I underperform in competition. Mostly I think it is the stress I deal with the night before and the day of. I'm completely drained before I ever get on the mat.
On the flip side, I work hard to prepare my teammates for whatever it is they are doing. I sacrifice time and injuries to help make others better (of course I reap the benefits as well). I don't know anybody that has ever trained with me that would say otherwise. I can assure you I am a man, and not a pussy.