Gym hopping question

I have a student who stopped training with me to go to another gym. At my gym he couldnt beat any of my white belts, like never once. He goes to this other gym and can tap there bluebelts 1/3 of the time...

So after a few months he quits there and starts training with me again he still cant beat a whitebelt but he has improved.

After a month he becomes discouraged from not tapping anyone and goes back to the other gym, I had him only working defense and surviving when he was back with me and now the female blackbelt instructor of that gym has to spend 10 minutes before he can find an opening to submit him.

He wants to keep training at that gym and do private lessons with me.

Now the other head instructor of the other gym keeps insulting me on facebook. They run a mcdojo where u belt test every 6 months and are pretty much guaranteed a stripe each time.

What should I do? Would you train this guy? If he competes it will be under that gyms name.

Show up at their school and offer to roll.
Ask them if they mind if you record video to post on facebook.
lol.
sorry.

If he is paying you for privates and you do privates, then go for it. Do worry one bit about that other gym or the belt they give him. These things have a funny way of working out in the end. The mats are the ultimate "bullshit" detectors.
Make sure you teach him RG, They will probably kick him out of that other gym.

I'd have him pay in advance and then choke the shit out of him every time he shows up

He quit 10th Planet TWICE and reps a school that talks shit about it. Why would you train him?

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Originally Posted by Tom Carbone

He quit 10th Planet TWICE and reps a school that talks shit about it. Why would you train him?

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Ya thats kind of my thought. He personally thinks 10th planet is better but this school is 5 min closer to his house so he says thats why he trains there...

As an instructor I think I care as much about the development of each of my students as they do. So it bugs me when one who could be good chooses not to be.

I don't see an issue with this from the students end. He really hasn't done anything wrong at this point. Sounds like he has been pretty honest with you about everything if nothing else.
As for the other instructor I would just take the high road and ignore them. :-)

Must be nice to have so many options!
Kids these days have no idea how easy they have it!

Some people see training at a school as a business transaction and nothing more, others look at it and see so much more. If this guy wants to treat it like a business transaction then so be it. I would hold him at arms length and avoid going out of my way to teach him. Hell, teach him the same shit he is learning at his other school.

I witness this everyday. Sometimes to be GOOD, you do have to fight someone that is not as good as you so you can practice all the new moves on. Repping on guys who have no clue about what you are doing, believe it or not, this does help alot in term of confidence to use new moves. Because if you spar with guys that always smash on you all the time, you will never get to your game thus won't improve. I take Cora for example, I always encourage her to use her new moves on the lower belt kids so she can go through her reps, when she get good at that move, she can use it on the higher belt kids and bigger kids. I think this guy is doing just that. He want to train with you, but he also need to find somewhere where he is able to use what you taught him. So keep on training him, he does want to learn. Maybe oneday he will be as good as your white belts and will stick around.

Ahh yes the "other school" dilemma.

There will always be those that train at other schools and with other practitioners- publicly, or undercover.
This, to me, is no different from learning from online vids or dvds.

Let him train there, and let him come back to you. It benefits your students to see a different look. It benefits jiu jitsu as a whole. If he reps their school, so be it. That's his choice.

I was just talking with the fellas last night. Ultimately, a person is going to choose their school for which they want to be ranked at or associated with. But what's special about 10th Planet is not only the grappling, but we are a collection of free-thinking individuals. We're individualists.

Other schools expect to mold you into their lifestyle or culture. But 10th Planet, not be be biased, has smart ass people that don't just do jiu jitsu. We are engineers, artists, metal workers, law enforcement, tattoo artists, rock musicians, dj's, yoga practitioners, break dancers, real estate developers, coaches of others, business owners, screenwriters, comedians, bloggers, salesmen.... and on and on and on. Most importantly, we are just chill people. Able to converse on many issues with an open mind.

The jiu jitsu brings people in, but once they find out or understand we are just like them, most of the time they'll stay. If they don't, they may find somewhere else to bring them in. Maybe they want all the "hi-YA's and karate chops" that the other gyms provide.

At least we don't bring people in the back room and jump them for training somewhere else. If you wanna train elsewhere so be it. Come back though so we can inject back into the System.

well said slick:)

If I was you Ryan I would also want to know 'the real reason' on why he's school hopping but then wanting to come back to you.

The other place being 5min closer sounds like bullshit to me, there must be some other reason. 5 minutes extra is worth the travel if he really loved your school.

I would start by trying to be straight up front with him, no pressure and try to get to the bottom of it. Of course I have no idea how old the dude is, so might not really be that easy if he's still suiper young.

Excellent post, Slick Rick.

Slick Rick is right it's about the atmosphere.

Thanks everyone, it was nice to get more opinions

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Originally Posted by Tim Bruhn

If I was you Ryan I would also want to know 'the real reason' on why he's school hopping but then wanting to come back to you.

The other place being 5min closer sounds like bullshit to me, there must be some other reason. 5 minutes extra is worth the travel if he really loved your school.

I would start by trying to be straight up front with him, no pressure and try to get to the bottom of it. Of course I have no idea how old the dude is, so might not really be that easy if he's still suiper young.

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That's the real issue that you need to get to the bottom of: he's not totally happy with your gym for one reason or another. Use the situation as a learning tool for yourself and grow from it.

Brick Smash???

Maybe he doesn't like the atmosphere of your gym. From your message your basically saying how he can't tap any of your guys, "Even whitebelts" and the black belt at the "other gym" takes 10 mins before she can "find an opening." And he taps all the blue belts there. If i had an instructor like that I'd look for a new gym too. i wanna train with awesome people and could give a shit about how many times I tap or they tap in fun rolling. It's about having fun and getting better. And clearly your student isn't having fun there but he's not in the wrong, he can choose any school he wishes. Maybe it's not about him tapping blues but about a different gym atmosphere.

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Originally Posted by Wade Hamilton

Maybe he doesn't like the atmosphere of your gym. From your message your basically saying how he can't tap any of your guys, "Even whitebelts" and the black belt at the "other gym" takes 10 mins before she can "find an opening." And he taps all the blue belts there. If i had an instructor like that I'd look for a new gym too. i wanna train with awesome people and could give a shit about how many times I tap or they tap in fun rolling. It's about having fun and getting better. And clearly your student isn't having fun there but he's not in the wrong, he can choose any school he wishes. Maybe it's not about him tapping blues but about a different gym atmosphere.

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That's a good point... we don't really talk about who can beat who at the gym I more or less said that stuff to point out the drop in quality.

When sparing I usually try and point out all the positive things you did and a couple of things to work on after no one brags about winning that I know of...

But at the same time we do lots of timed sparing drills and other things designed to make finishers and I do like when a match ends in sub.

He doesn't do it because he wants to compete, which means that the other gym that's closer for him that focuses more on cardio is actually a better fit for his needs. Especially if they focus less on closing in on subs and sparing.

Ill have to try and get better at finding out the specific goals of all my students and the ones that want to compete can focus more on finishing.

I should post all my problems on here it's good to get this many different perspectives it completely changed the way I was thinking about this.

at the gym where I trained we used to have sparing drills where the point wasn't to submit it was to tell a joke and make your partner laugh. I never saw the value in that until now...

I still have many steps to climb on my way to being a blackbelt in teaching.

P.S me and this guy are actually friends we have hung out since he switched gyms
P.P.S they can't get him because of his lockdown no one can pass his guard :)

Awesome to hear you're getting something from the feedback. My guess would be that he is loving your instruction but struggling ego wise that he can't 'dominate' at yours as much as he does at the other school?

Which is great positive re-enforcement for you that you are holding your standards high and training some true killers, converting him into 10thP4L will be an even great re-enforcement that you are doing more things right.

Wish you all the best with it mate and you will learn from it no matter the outcome. Win Win :)

Reap the knee??? That will teach him. :)

To me it just sounds like he prefers your place but just likes to got to the other place too to work some offence etc as he struggles with your guys as they are so good.. Honestly nothing to worry or be offended about. It is a compliment to your team if anything. That is what it sounds like anyway. :-)

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Originally Posted by Tim Bruhn

Awesome to hear you're getting something from the feedback. My guess would be that he is loving your instruction but struggling ego wise that he can't 'dominate' at yours as much as he does at the other school?

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It is this, imo.

As long as there is respect, open minds, and a thirst to improve all areas of your humanity, then its fine. But, IMHO, if he is a douche then you just gotta cut the fat! I love my guys training else where, I really do. Its a a different look like the SLick one mentioned. But......if he is a DOUCHE.......sorry, the drongo has to go. Lets face it, who wants to be around a guy like that anyway. I struggled with having to shut up and suck it up when it came to idiots training in our school due to politics ect....Now, as a 10PL4L warrior, he should either choose and stick to it and drop the drama, if he does not see value in improving and continues to be a mat HO, the teacher decides and he should cut the PHATCH!!

My 5 cents worth boy, just an opinion.