1. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.
2. When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he went and got it back.
3. Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Printable View
1. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.
2. When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he went and got it back.
3. Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
1. Chuck Norris doesn't mow the lawn, he stares the grass down and dares it to grow.
2. It is said that Chuck Norris sold his soul to the Devil for unlimited Roundhouse Kicking Abilities. Upon completing the transaction, Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked the Devil in the face and took his soul back. The Devil being a good sport now plays poker with him every second thursday of the month.
3. There isn't a chin behind Chuck Norris' beard... only another fist.
every year for chuck norris' birthday he gets to roundhouse a child into the sun
chuck norris doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck norrised
Chuck Norris counted to infinity.....twice
Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes the world down.
Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty.
chuck norris doesnt use pick up lines he just goes up to women and says now
chuck norris isnt hung like a horse horses are hung like chuck norris
chuck norris went to the virgin islands and now there just the islands
leading hand sanitisers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs chuck norris can kill 100% of whatever the hell he wants
Chuck Norris framed Roger Rabit.
Bob Marley didnt shoot the deputy, He death was a result of multiple round house kicks to head by Chuck Norris. They just were to scared to plant the charge on him for the fear of suffering the same fate.
Chuck Norris once had a threesome inside the cab of a semi truck. One drop of his sperm leaked onto the seat of the semi during it. That semi truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented water.
Chuck Norris doesn't have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
When life hands Chuck Norris lemons, he makes orange juice.
no one watches World Combat League because Chuck Norris always wins
chuck norris doesn't tea bag you, he potato sacks you
The big bang theory is a myth. Chuck Norris sneezed, and then there was light.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris got chocked the fuck out by Helio Gracie in the 80's and called it "The most humbling experience in my martial arts career".
He used BJJ in Walker Texas Ranger. Watch it, you 'll see armbars and stuff once and a while.
His beard actually hides a third fist.
The Boogey Man check under his bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris made it look like he got choked out by Helio Gracie in the 80's so BJJ would grow in popularity because he grew bored of people not standing a chance against him. now they only have a 100% chance of dying in a fight against him instead of the 110% chance before.
Chuck norris doesnt jump
the earth moves down
chuck norris can kick your ass in thumb wrestling using his toes
chuck norris doesnt wait in line a line form behind him
some people can write there name in snow with there urine...chuck norris writes his biography
chuck norris doesnt head bang the entire venue shakes
chuck norris doesnt take showers, the entire planet just gets dirtier
chuck norris doesnt punch you in the face,you run towards his fist
....rubber guard doesnt work on chuck norris
There was once a move in the Rubber Guard called the Chuck Norris.....R.I.P. to those who were put in it.
Chuck Norris has never taken a shit. Food cannot withstand the awesome power of his digestive tract. He is actually 100% efficient in his digestion and metabolism and therefore produces no waste. Chuck was the first and only person to truly "go green".
Chuck Norris won the world series of poker with an ace, king, queen, his drivers license and an uno card.
Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer...to bad he will never cry
Chuck Norris was the 4th wise man and he gave Jesus the gift of beard. The other 3 were so jelouse that they had him taken out of the bible. They were later found dead from roundhouse kicks to the chest.
walker Texas ranger is only fake because chuck never looses but wants to give his victims false hope.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmG8fP1_zTY&feature=related
It is said that Jesus Christ could walk on water, well Chuck Norris can swim through land!
Little boys wear super man pjs to bed, superman wears Chuck Norris pjs to bed!
Sharks dedicate a week to chuck Norris
Chuck Norris eats 100 hamburgers every day.
chuck norris doesn't use twitter his already following you!
The Saw movie traps are all based on Chuck Norris's morning workout routine.
Chuck Norris took the cookie out of the cookie jar.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a gun under his pillow.....he has a pillow under his gun!!
The Boogey man checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
2> 1 (unless 1 = Chuck Norris)
God asked Chuck Norris what he believed, and Chuck said "I believe you're sitting in my chair motherfucker!"
LMAO!Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryan_McLean
chuck norris doesnt channel surf he channel sky dives
chuck norris doesnt pray to god, he stands infront a mirror and compliments himself
the earth rotates because chuck norris walks
Here's a list of Chuck Norris' favorite foods: Whisky
LMAO chuck norris is a champion in tae kwon do karate jiu jitsu tai bo and PAD THAI!Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam Bergeron
Chuck Norris flosses his teeth with barbed wire and wipes his ass with steel wool.
spiderman walks on walls, walls turn horizontal when chuck norris aproach them
chuck norris' invisible collar is actually invisible
ITS TRUE! CHUCK NORRIS IS THE FATHER!!
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...uifFs9roZwoAbg
Chuck Norris doesnt tea bag, he potato sacks.
Chuck Norris oredered 3 big Macs, 7 McChicken and 2 Mcflurries at Taco bell and got them.
Chuck Norris once challenged Michael Jackson to a dance contest...loser had to change colors.
Chuck Norris once donated blood, the recipients of his donation are now known as the X-men.
Chuck Norris once roundhoused a person so hard he knocked the manhood out of him. We now call him Justin Beiber.
was there ever any evidence of man hood NAY evidence indicating that thing was even male let alone human? looks like a coco nut to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dartangan Jackson