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I'm thinking about packing up and leaving the little town of Poplar Bluff, Mo. to go live in my van and train with the boys in Springfield... I could get a job transfer to there so I'd have some money but I'd have to drive back every other weekend to see my kid. What do you guys think I should do?
Thats a tough one P.J. You couldnt go wrong moving to Springfield to train with Brian and his crew. I guess it comes down to is it worth it to have to drive back to see your son? I'm sure the seeing your son part is a yes so is the drive worth it? If the answer is yes then have fun in Springfield.
What's ur kid going to think if you leave him to go train in jiu jitsu? Unless you are going pro that seems like it'de hurt your family
i only get to see my kid every other weekend bro... I'd make the trip back to see him every time
Thats a tough one. I can tell you that living away from your family sucks. Training with Brian will help you for sure. Thats why I make regular eight hour trips to train with Brian. Maybe start off with weekend trips and see how its going.
Parenthood is strange.
Sometimes, in order to raise our children right, we have to build ourselves up right. How can you teach your children to reach and achieve ambitious goals if we've never achieved them ourselves.
It's like writing a fictional story. You literally cannot create a character smarter than yourself. So your choice is either to get smart or throw your story to the whims of other smarter people in hopes that they create something great for you.
How about you hit one of us down here up for a place to crash and come train as much as possible. We would love to have you down in Springfield. Even if its 3 times a month you still have training partners down in PB and won't have to live in a van down by the river.
Andrew Maxwell lives in KC and comes down all the time to train at 10th P Springfield. I would love to train with you PM me whenever you can make it down and I'll try to get some people together so we can have a good variety of people for you to roll with.
Hope this helps.
that's sounds awesome Jeff! That definitely seems like a more logical decision... that helps a ton :)
do you plan on doing mma professionally?
Just sell the kid.
How far is the drive?
PJ...I understand the inner struggle you are facing...I went through similar issue with my daughter..
you have to keep two important things in mind: First you have to take care of your kid...there are many ways this can be done but you have to always be very involved in your child's daily life! Second you MUST follow your goals/dreams...if you don't it will have negative consequences...it can make you become self destructive!
Sometimes taking care of your kid and following your goals can seem to be in conflict...but if you stay level headed and patient it can be resolved...Jeff had a great idea for now...I would add to it the idea of using some of your time to look for jobs in or near Springfield...I bet you something will come together if you patient...also think outside the box and try to come up with a creative plan. I have found in life that if you never give up you will have what you want...
Sorry to be so long winded brother but I feel your frustration~
E-Vade
its about a 3 1/2 hour drive... not too bad. I think I'll just have to make a lot more trips there... and also make a couple of trips to st. louis as well. I'm getting dodged a lot in the local mma circuit now and it's kind of frustrating so I want to start doing some more grappling tournaments... I want to compete like a motherfucker in 2012
all the best bro, whatever you decide to do. :-)
PJ, Jiu Jitsu is amazing. It has literally changed the course of my life forever. I love it.
That having been said, there is absolutely nothing more important than your family. I think it would be a terrible decision to move farther away from your son. You're a grown man and you gotta make your own decisions. But please consider what an impact you have on that boy, and structure your life in such a way that he understands that nothing matters to you more than he does.
dont be a sperm donor just to pursue your hobby of jiu jitsu
if you really have a drive always follow your dreams
try and move you the baby mama and your baby to a new location?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandon Mccaghren
I disagree 100%. Nothing great has ever been achieved by a man that has focused on his family. The shit you just spewed is evidence of the brainwashing the masses are receiving from a profit driven capitalistic society that keeps its sheep in a heard. The family man is the best consumer and producer, but the worst innovator or revolutionary.
I think we should drive there as much as possible, gather knowledge and drill the techniques at our Academy until we can't do them any other way than perfect. Combine that with all the other cross training, seminars, books, dvds & the knowledge from all the MTS episodes and drill them relentlessly, however you already do own the van!
The van thing made me think of this. Just a joke.
questions: will you have a place to stay with your son when you go back? sorry if you already posted that.
3 1/2 hours isnt anything so you could really work it either way.
this is gold. jiu jitsu is and can be a very life changing thing. it may change your life for the better, but dont let it change your sons for the worst. family is number 1.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandon Mccaghren
I think a lot of people are misunderstanding my intentions... I'm not leaving the kid. I would never do that! but, I only get to see him every other weekend as it is... so I figured I could possibly drive back on the weekends I am supposed to have him and yes I have a place to go. But, I think instead i'll just make a lot more trips out there. Thanks for everyone's advice and watching out for the well being of my child lol... But trust me.. nothing means more to me than that child. I just live, eat, and breath jiu jitsu and like I said I want to compete a lot more and I'm trying to think of what I need to do. Something being hard or difficult or stressful does not matter. I want to do what needs to be done in order to achieve my personal goals
Do it
couldn't have said it better myselfQuote:
Originally Posted by Howssteella
lol The best answer from someone who has never even posted before!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony Toffolo
I mean the Howsteela dude. not you mr Toffolo
Im not sure if this fits the situation, but family decisions maybe should be compared to the oxygen mask coming down in a airplane. If you put the mask on your kid first you might pass out leaving the kid to fend for himself or you could put the mask on yourself first to insure your kid gets his on properly so you both end up o.k. in the end.
got that analogy from a Coffee with Rhadi (Ph.D and Judo beast) Ferguson video. Cant find it, but here is another good one about decision making
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RmjSkOO0uM&feature=related
This. What do you have to lose?Quote:
Originally Posted by AJ Camacho
I would go. If you can keep your job, if your ex is good to your kid and you have reliable transportation to go see him why not go? Its not that far and it may open up a whole new world. Then again I used to volunteer for every deployment there was...anyway nothing is as important as family. but it also isn't a lack of love or wrong to pursue your dreams.
Someday your son will want to pursue his, what are you going to say on that day if you don't pursue yours? You can still be a great dad from 3 hours away, just like a person can be a shitty dad sitting a room over from thier child. It isn't distance and qauntity of time spent with a child that makes a relashonship. It is the qaulity of time, the example we set for them, in our own lives, the sacrifices we make and the love we show that frames our children.
If you live in the same town and only see him every other weekend then there is already a problem. Will moving help or hurt this problem?
Just tap out a gracie and you should be set for life ;)
Thanks for contributing dave. Now Politely STFU.
it was joke relax ffs, i am a huge 10thplanetjj fanQuote:
Originally Posted by Jeff Vale
PJ, I make the 3 hour drive from KC to Springfield a couple times a week. I reworked my schedule at school and I am taking extra student loans so that I can cut back on work to make extra time for jiu jitsu. For me the extra sacrifice and time driving is way worth it and I never regret it. You cant beat having quality training partners, like Jeff Vale, beating your ass and offering great advice afterward. I also have some mats at home so that on the days I'm not in Springfield I can still drill everything I've picked up in class. If I were you, I'd do what you had to to reach my goals. Hope to see you around the gym more!