how do i leave?

Ive been training at my current gym/dojo for the past five years. Im a black belt in traditional Japanese jiu jitsu but with (from what ive seen of Japanese jj) way more ground work. I am also an instructor in the childrens classes. I feel that its time for a change in the way i train and what i train in. I graduate this year and want to go to college out in Charlotte wear i want to train with Jon helton. But i would like to take some actual bjj classes before i head out for college. the reason i need help is im one of the top students in the entire dojo and my instructor is like another dad to me. So how should i tell him i do not want to train Japanese jj anymore? thanks for any help you can give!

Tell him his time has come and gone. That you are the man now! Tell him he lied to you! Tell him he owes your money! Throw a chair and walk out.

So how should i tell him i do not want to train Japanese jj anymore?

simple: "i do not want to train Japanese jj anymore"

the reason i need help is im one of the top students in the entire dojo and my instructor is like another dad to me.

good. he'll understand. Just be honest and tell him how you feel. :D

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Originally Posted by lates85

So how should i tell him i do not want to train Japanese jj anymore?

simple: "i do not want to train Japanese jj anymore"

the reason i need help is im one of the top students in the entire dojo and my instructor is like another dad to me.

good. he'll understand. Just be honest and tell him how you feel. :D

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Don't listen to this girly shit. Knock that mother fucker out and show him you are the man now!

If you value your instructors/training partner opinions, then perhaps it would be easier for you to “cross-train” somewhere that focus specifically on the area of JJ you want to work on (ground work), and that is closely related to the school you plan on training at when you move. Changing gyms can be a delicate issue, consider whatever you choose carefully :)

train in bjj then choke him out and say thats why

thanks for the help brain and you other guys are violent haha.

Thank him for his knowledge and everything that he has done for you, but the time has come to move on. I would give him enough notice to find another teacher for the kids though.

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Originally Posted by Mikeox34

how should i tell him i do not want to train Japanese jj anymore? thanks for any help you can give!

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Do it like this, and you're welcome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkcoobYUu8g

I don't see why you can't train both. Go train BJJ. You don't have to stop training JJ completely. Ari (10th Planet Victoria) teaches jj, bjj, & 10th Planet jj at his school. They are all worthy of teaching!

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Originally Posted by Taylor Culbertson

Don't listen to this girly shit. Knock that mother fucker out and show him you are the man now!

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aaaaaaaaand Taylors back...

Holy balls everyone...listen to what Mike is telling you; don't tell him to train both he said he doesn't want to.

Ok i would sit my instructor down and lay it out there. Say hey i appreciate all the amazing instruction and mentor ship over the years. Explain that you will always have his back then go on to tell him you will be leaving soon and you want to be prepared for what will happen when you leave. I mean as long as you are respectful and honest how can anyone be angry. Maybe even ask if there will be a place for you if you need to go back. He should be pretty cool about it if not then go with the Taylor approach; knock that motherfucker out, throw him out of his own Gym, change the name to Mikes Motel of Skull Crushers or something like that, and rule the towns martial arts scene with an iron fist. Priblem solves problem staying solved. You're welcome!

I can tell you're really feeling mixed up about this Mike. Here's the best advice I can give and I hope it helps. Some fundamental things you need to accept so that you can make the right decision is

1. You do NOT need any excuses for pursuing the things you want out of life.
2. You are entitled to the best the world has to offer.
3. You do NOT need anyone's permission to be happy.

Really let those tenets soak in. Your Japanese JJ instructor can be happy for you and support your endeavors despite his potential feelings for sense of loss in such a dedicated student or he can allow that potential feeling of loss to overshadow the fact that you are his friend and that he should want nothing else for you but for you to pursue happiness and fulfillment in your life. Either way, that doesn't change what you have to do.

I know this isn't an easy situation and your instructor may not understand, but just remember, 10/20/30/40 years from now, or 60+ years from now when you're on your death bed, you're going to regret the things that you DIDN'T pursue more than the things that you DID attempt to do. I do not get an overwhelming amount of support from my family for training in a combat sport, compete in submission fights, let alone do my occasional amateur rules MMA smoker. Many people think that I'm being irresponsible because they think that I may become an invalid or die from my sport of choice. The reality of the situation is that yes, I may become injured from jiu jitsu and MMA, but I may also become injured from football, basketball, tennis, hockey, or hell, even ping pong players get nasty tennis elbow. The riskiest/deadliest activity I've done in my life besides serve in the military is simply drive on the road as people die daily from driving. The point is, I'm doing what I love to do for myself, because it makes me a happier and more fulfilled person which makes me a better brother, husband, son, uncle, father, etc.

Go for what you want. You only get one shot at life.

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Originally Posted by Cody Kietzman

He should be pretty cool about it if not then go with the Taylor approach; knock that motherfucker out, throw him out of his own Gym, change the name to Mikes Motel of Skull Crushers or something like that, and rule the towns martial arts scene with an iron fist. Priblem solves problem staying solved. You're welcome!

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You have a flair for writing Cody.

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Originally Posted by Enrique "Kiko"

You have a flair for writing Cody.

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You aren't the first person to tell me that! You're welcome!

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Originally Posted by Cody Kietzman

Holy balls everyone...listen to what Mike is telling you; don't tell him to train both he said he doesn't want to.

Ok i would sit my instructor down and lay it out there. Say hey i appreciate all the amazing instruction and mentor ship over the years. Explain that you will always have his back then go on to tell him you will be leaving soon and you want to be prepared for what will happen when you leave. I mean as long as you are respectful and honest how can anyone be angry. Maybe even ask if there will be a place for you if you need to go back. He should be pretty cool about it if not then go with the Taylor approach; knock that motherfucker out, throw him out of his own Gym, change the name to Mikes Motel of Skull Crushers or something like that, and rule the towns martial arts scene with an iron fist. Priblem solves problem staying solved. You're welcome!

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Solid advice! Level headed approach with some Taylor thinking for plan B.

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Originally Posted by Jack LaBarge

I don't see why you can't train both. Go train BJJ. You don't have to stop training JJ completely. Ari (10th Planet Victoria) teaches jj, bjj, & 10th Planet jj at his school. They are all worthy of teaching!

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Good advise. However if your instructor does not agree then you need to move on.
Before practicing BJJ and the 10th Planet system I did Judo and some traditional
Japanese Jiu-Jitsu along with Hapkido. Anyway one time this black belt in traditional
Jiu-Jitsu came into our Judo class. Everybody was tapping him out. Even the white belts.
He was a fish out of water with his black belt on.
Judo and BJJ are a sport and you practice with a total resisting opponent. Japanese Jiu-Jitsu
is an art and you don't have somebody actually fighting back.

I remember the first time somebody got me in a choke in one of my first Judo classes. I was shocked that the
guy was actually going to choke me unconscious if I did not escape or tap. I had practiced getting out of
chokes in Hapkido classes but never like that. Ironically I did use one of my Hapkido counters to that choke
and it worked but still Judo and BJJ are real while traditional Japanese Jiu-Jitsu is practiced with a non
resisting opponet or partner. Same thing with Aikido.

I would keep the instructors feelings in mind.

"Accidentally" shit your pants while training. Then you just have
to explain to him that you were very embarrassed and can't come back.
60% of the time, it works everytime.

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Originally Posted by 10th Planet Riverside, Ca

Good advise. However if your instructor does not agree then you need to move on.
Before practicing BJJ and the 10th Planet system I did Judo and some traditional
Japanese Jiu-Jitsu along with Hapkido. Anyway one time this black belt in traditional
Jiu-Jitsu came into our Judo class. Everybody was tapping him out. Even the white belts.
He was a fish out of water with his black belt on.
Judo and BJJ are a sport and you practice with a total resisting opponent. Japanese Jiu-Jitsu
is an art and you don't have somebody actually fighting back.

I remember the first time somebody got me in a choke in one of my first Judo classes. I was shocked that the
guy was actually going to choke me unconscious if I did not escape or tap. I had practiced getting out of
chokes in Hapkido classes but never like that. Ironically I did use one of my Hapkido counters to that choke
and it worked but still Judo and BJJ are real while traditional Japanese Jiu-Jitsu is practiced with a non
resisting opponet or partner. Same thing with Aikido.

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I didn't specify the style of jjj i do its basically mma in a GI. but one night we might work on knife and gun defense then the next stand up then the next night we do hook sweep drills. I just want to grapple. Also it will be hard to tell him im taking off for a while because we have had a black belt just leave after getting his belt and i do not want to disappoint some one i regard so highly.

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Originally Posted by Mikeox34

I didn't specify the style of jjj i do its basically mma in a GI. but one night we might work on knife and gun defense then the next stand up then the next night we do hook sweep drills. I just want to grapple. Also it will be hard to tell him im taking off for a while because we have had a black belt just leave after getting his belt and i do not want to disappoint some one i regard so highly.

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You have to address that issue too. Tell him hey I know Dounchey McDoucherson just left for X reason but i want you to understand that i am leaving for this reason. Don't avoid it you have to address so that he knows exactly where you stand. You may discover in the process here that where you stand and where he stands may be two different places that would be opening and possibly difficult to take seeing as it is someone you highly regard. On the other hand you may be blowing this up to be bigger than it already is and he is gonna be all cool with it. On the other other hand he may be reading this right now and planning your demise via ninja stars and blowguns. Watch your back brother.

In all seriousness, any good boss/co-worker/training partner/father figure
knows that you have to do what's best for you. If he can't understand that
then he's probably not as great as you imagine him.

tell him that you want to start learning bjj because you find it very interesting and thats it. Nobody needs a good REASON to increase their knowledge in the fighting arts.

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Originally Posted by Cody Kietzman

You have to address that issue too. Tell him hey I know Dounchey McDoucherson just left for X reason but i want you to understand that i am leaving for this reason. Don't avoid it you have to address so that he knows exactly where you stand. You may discover in the process here that where you stand and where he stands may be two different places that would be opening and possibly difficult to take seeing as it is someone you highly regard. On the other hand you may be blowing this up to be bigger than it already is and he is gonna be all cool with it. On the other other hand he may be reading this right now and planning your demise via ninja stars and blowguns. Watch your back brother.

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+1 haha thanks guys for all your help

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Originally Posted by StephenG

I would keep the instructors feelings in mind.

"Accidentally" shit your pants while training. Then you just have
to explain to him that you were very embarrassed and can't come back.
60% of the time, it works everytime.

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I laughed so hard I almost did. Brilliant. Do this. I was gonna say +1 to Cody's advice but I changed my mind. This is way better.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl27AZ3BzK0