open letter from Lloyd Irvin

I first want to apologize.

I want to apologize
to my mother,
to my father,
to my wife
and
to my son for my silence.

The public taunting & harassing phone calls you have received are undeserved and my recent silence is partly to blame.

I have in fact made statements in the local news
but those statements have not reached everyone
in our BJJ & MMA family and this is the reason my silence ends today...

I want to apologize to every one of my friends, family and supporters who have suffered threats and degradation in my silence.

I apologize to my team and to everyone who has supported me in these last few weeks. It has been my family and your letters, phone calls, emails and texts have kept me going.

My ongoing support of my student who has suffered immeasurably, has occupied much of my thoughts and time in these past few weeks. And as we have unwaveringly shown her... her team, my family and I are there for her in every way.

She and I have been in consistent contact and she has been back in the gym with us again.

Her strength and resolve in the face of what has happened is truly one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

I have shared with her my feelings on the matter and both of us are focused and committed to supporting her full recovery and violence prevention for ALL women going forward ... I’ll speak to you more about that later in this letter.

One of my biggest priorities in these past couple of weeks has been to express to her my sincere and deepest apology. And that too is what this letter is about.

I want to publicly apologize to her for me not knowing, not sensing, and not having the awareness to know that this was even possible.

My wife keeps saying I couldn’t have known, my mom says I couldn’t have known.

Everyone I’ve confided in said I couldn’t have known, but that doesn’t change my wishing I could have.

They keep saying the same thing over and over...

any reasonable person would understand that you couldn’t have known.

And that may be true but while that’s a convenient position to take,

the truth is I didn’t know and I wish I had.
I will go to my grave wishing someone ELSE from my team would have been there for her that night.

My counselors will have to deal with any fallout from this letter, as they have advised against making this statement but I simply cannot let my friends and family be left to hang in the breeze like this anymore.

I also want to publicly apologize to my team.

Young men and women I love with all my heart and soul.

I wish for YOU that I could have foreseen this and made new years eve not happen.

Please know that no matter what is said about me...

you have been and remain the most honorable, supportive & special people I have ever known... I’m proud to have you represent my school and wear our colors.

I promise you that I will do everything in my power to clear the air so you may have free passage to attain the goals we’ve promised each other we’d attain together.

That all being said, in answer to the question... “Why have I been silent on this?”
To put it simply, my focus has been on my team...

most of all, I have at my school a dear friend, student & team member who’s had an unimaginably horrible experience and
my only desire is to care for, support and help her.

I have promised her that I will do everything in my power to avoid this happening ever again within the influence of my organization/team.

It should be clearly and simply noted...

I nor anyone else on my current team or staff had ANYTHING at all to do with what is reported to have happened New Years Eve.

It has been reported that a video (as of the time I am releasing this letter, I have not seen the video nor has the case been resolved) that was described in the recent court documents shows that this was a deplorable and disgraceful act committed by two individuals who acted OUTSIDE the code of honor of our team, NOT within it.

As for the accusations that I am “fostering” some sort of environment that makes people do horrific things...

One of the accused had been with me for barely a month and the other for a total time of barely seven months...

Anyone who feels that there is some sort of subversive environment being taught and encouraged on our team should realize the level of insult and disrespect they are directing not towards me but the truly honorable athletes and human beings that make up our school... both competitors and non-*?competitors alike.

I want to repeat,

my singular concern and effort right now (and much of the reason why I have not spoken to date) is caring for and supporting my teammate and friend who is recovering

In addition my focus is actively engaging as many people and resources as possible to understand more about how these things happen and what if anything we can do to directly impact these situations before they ever happen.

I don’t know much about what, how or why new years eve happened...
I wish I did and I think it unwise to pressure her about all of these details at this point as she’s got enough to deal with.

Certainly as the trial progresses we will all learn more.

All I can say is I feel sadness for the depraved and misguided individuals who would suggest that this is part of what we teach.

It’s an insult to the young women and men on my team who have never behaved in any way other than exemplary. Especially the young woman who most deserves our respect and support.

This young woman who needs my support, my team’s support and your support should be the ONLY thing we are talking about, thinking about & praying about right now but unfortunately as you know I have become a significant portion of this discussion for something that happened in 1989.

From this point forward I anticipate that
anything I say will be ripped apart and shredded by those who either have an axe to grind,
aren’t focused on prevention of violence/rape against women or even may simply not care about the truth.

I don’t expect ANYTHING less.

But its simply unfair to this truly remarkable woman and unfair to the rest of my supporters and team to not tell my side of this story.

The TRUE side of this story.

For those of you who hate me or who have judged me...

what I’m about to say is not for you.

You have passed your judgment and
I don’t expect to be able to undo that but

The truth is that nobody knows much of the real story of New Years Eve 2012 nor the incident of 1989 at all.

This letter is simply for those who have believed in me or at the very least reserved judgment until having more knowledge of the situation.

For those who have and continue to support me this is also so that you know your belief in me was not and is not misplaced.

I also want to add that I’m writing this letter as though I was writing a letter to my son.

The one person I MOST want to understand my position and gain the wisdom I didn’t have.

What I am about to share with you IS an eyewitness account of what REALLY happened 23 years ago.

I’m not going to give you the sugar coated version some have told me to give I’m simply going to tell you the truth, the same truth I told 23 years ago

So for starters...

I was once 20 years old
I did things 20 year olds do... drank too much,
partied too much,
etc...

Probably not unlike many 20 year olds,
I made more than my share of dumb choices.

I hadn’t found martial arts yet.

(I was 3 when I took my first martial arts class
but I didn’t make it the cornerstone of my life until 1996 at that time I still hadn’t learned how to be a leader)

I’m not saying this to excuse my choices and decisions, as that’s simply not possible.

I am saying my life and my foundation was different as an uncertain 20 year old than it is now as a father, husband and mentor at 43.

Recently some people have decided to believe things about me and the 1989 incident that are absolutely positively untrue....

and this is what I’d like to speak to next...
I cannot control what you believe nor will I try. I can only tell the truth.

I told the truth 23 years ago
to my mother
to my father and
under oath in a court of law and I’m telling the truth today.

I’m telling you the same thing I told the jury and the truth that is STILL on record.

The facts are the facts and glossing over the fact that

I did NOT rape nor have sex with ANYONE involved in the 1989 incident cannot and should not be brushed under the carpet.

I told the 100% unadulterated truth, just as I’m sharing with you right now.

I did NOT “get off on a technicality” as some want to say.

Please understand...
Before my trial in 1989 I was offered a plea bargain for “lesser time”...

the prosecutors told my father point blank...

“Mr. Irvin we are going to give your son
a lesser penalty if he admits
he is a rapist and if he doesn't
we will lock him up and put him away for a very long time.”

I talked to my mom and my dad.

I was a kid.
I didn’t know what to do.
Terrified is the only word that comes close.

I’ve never seen my dad cry in my entire life not before and not since... but I remember his breath on my face and his tears in his eyes...

“Son, are you guilty of rape?”

Just the words coming flatly from your father’s mouth ... eye to eye
I still tremble today just remembering it.

I said “no, no dad I didn’t rape her, I didn’t.” And with that he said...

“then you will not say you did.”

And so like my father taught me from the first time I could walk, I went and told the truth and as a result....
I was not convicted. I was innocent.

It’s the SAME truth I am sharing with you today...
It will be the same thing I will eventually tell my son.

I can only hope that you,

my BJJ and MMA brothers and sisters,
judge me based on this truth of what actually happened 23 years ago. Not what some want to presume, guess or assume happened.

I don’t know that this is necessary and my actions and behavior as well as the actions and behavior of ALL but two of my shortest tenured students should demonstrate this...

But just in case it is necessary I want everyone reading this to know without ANY uncertainty what so ever...

I am 100% against rape, attempted rape or any other form of violence against women. I don’t support it, don’t condone it and don’t enable an environment that would ever have anything to do with it.

Part of me wants to take you point by point bit by bit over the hundreds of hours of testimony and reams of media coverage to demonstrate how little has actually been revealed to date about the night of the incident, actual testimony and the trial.

But revisiting & rehashing every detail from the case 23 years ago would be nothing but selfish on my part (especially a case whose conclusion found me innocent of all charges).

I feel doing that does nothing productive for the BJJ and MMA community I care so much about, nothing productive for the men and women of my team and most of all nothing productive for healing needed for the woman my total focus and support is on right now.

The next most common question I hear
people asking is multiple forms of... “What about now?”

Would I do things differently?
Have I done things differently?
Would I make different choices?
Have I made different choices?
Does this alter how I counsel my son?
Has any of this effected how I counsel my team members in efforts to help them choose the right path?

Absolutely YES to all of it.

I can’t change what’s happened. I wish I was wiser then.

I have been and AM changing what’s happened every moment since.

Especially for these last 16 years ...

...and as part of that continued changing
will be my deep and sincere
commitment to the woman who needs our support most right now and my promise to spend
the rest of my days doing what I can to
prevent any woman from ever
experiencing anything even remotely similar.

People are often quick to say “actions speak louder than words”... and in this case I have 16 years of publicly visible
actions as a martial artist, as a teacher, a coach,
a husband, a father, a mentor and an advocate...

and in the end while my actions don’t ERASE the past,
those actions DO demonstrate the DIFFERENCE between
the man writing this statement and
the boy who failed to live up to the standards his mother and father set for him.

Lastly.
I have been posed with two most common questions over these last few weeks.

1) “Why have I hidden this all this time?” Well to be frank...

please ask yourself to remember the most embarrassing and frightening moment of your entire life and then ask yourself exactly where is it appropriate in EVERY relationship you engage in to bring up that moment/circumstance for the rest of your life.

My wife has known about 1989 since we first met. My closest friends have known for years.
Even some of my enemies have known.
Nothing about this has been hidden.

Which leads to the second question...

2) Why did I buy and put up the website url that I purchased and put rape prevention seminar information on it shortly after all the news broke regarding New Years Eve?

For this I can do nothing other than apologize 100%. I was wrong.
The timing was horrible and I completely dropped the ball.

The long and short of it was this...
The reason I purchased the url was singular.

I didn’t like the tone and tenor of things online
(but still felt I could not speak publicly about anything) and I simply didn’t want someone else in control of
the name my Son and I share in association with
the current or 1989 situation.

Beyond that my intention was honorable
but the execution and timing were awful
As everyone can see,
the moment I realized this,, it was taken down...

I have been an ADVOCATE for women for all my life in the martial arts.

The martial arts have been my entire life since 1996
when I finally grew up enough for it to stop being a hobby and it became my life’s foundation.

Anyone who knows me KNOWS this to be 100% TRUE.

And since being told about New Years Eve
my resolve and commitment to doing MORE than I EVER have before
in this area of women’s advocacy against violence has grown RADICALLY.

Bottom line is I am 100% guilty of poor timing and taste when it comes to the url and what was posted.

I spoke to the woman involved new years eve about this and told her my sincere intentions...

I vow to absolutely make rape & violence against women prevention an even more major cornerstone of my future efforts.

Understand that my rape-*?prevention program has ALWAYS been completely free, its not a marketing gimmick as some accusers have said.

I didn’t realize it was possible but
I promise you that my sensitivity to rape & violence against women prevention has now been made stronger than ever before.

If there is any good that can come of all of this

it’s the fact that we are all talking more about rape & violence prevention against women, EDUCATION OF MEN and how to create environments and relationships that keep violence from being used off the mat.

If you believe what I’ve shared here,
I thank you for your support and I apologize for taking so long to speak out.

If you don’t believe me,
all I ask is that you spare my wife, my mom, my dad and my son any venom you have towards me.

In closing,

I want to directly and specifically speak to my brothers and sisters in the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu community. I am sorry, truly sorry for the shadow this casts over our great art, sport and lifestyle that we lead.

Many people have their opinions and say what they will about my team and my school and my approach to things.

But one thing nobody can say is that I don’t have a deep passion and commitment to and for our art, sport and our community.

And its with that passion and commitment that I promise every one of you with all my heart and soul that while I would not and did not commit nor encourage nor enable anything that would ever hurt, harm or violate one of my own friends and team members.

I will move heaven and earth to understand what happened and why it happened. And should I discover ANYTHING that can be done to prevent new years eve from happening ever again I promise with the tenacity and commitment I have become known for, I will make any and all necessary changes.

I will spend every waking moment finding ways to make sure everyday from this day forward Team Lloyd Irvin brings enough light back to our community to drown out the darkness of these last few weeks.

On this you have my word.

Lastly, If you really want to know what MY philosophy about my team, my school, my responsibilities as a martial arts instructor and the martial arts REALLY is...

If you want to know what's happening to 'the water and the fish in the bowl'...

watch this video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTxAj...ature=youtu.be

I AGREE 100% with their thoughts on what I face and every instructor faces going forward when it comes to what we want for our students and what our responsibilities are to our students, our art, our sport and our community.

During the video at 28:26 he says "this has to be a wake up call"... he's right... it does... and it is... and I promise you

I will make things better for us all or die trying.

My sincere thanks to both of these men for making this video and the honor they bring to our BJJ family.

I sincerely thank you for your time and your attention,

Lloyd Irvin Jr.

As you guys know, I am a Lloyd hater since the news broke, however at least now he has finally addressed his shit :-)

Damn son. I feel like a woman involved in a damn gossip circle. So much on 10th planet that I dont' have time to read or watch.

I expected to see "for 19.99 read the rest of the letter on tli.com" lol.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cody Kietzman

I expected to see "for 19.99 read the rest of the letter on tli.com" lol.

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LOL LOL LOL

Still nothing really about how he WAS actually at least involved in a gang rape. Just that he wasn't convicted and was found innocent blah blah blah. Kinda glossed over stuff a little.

The whole thing was very very well prepared. He probably had outside help tbh. :-)

All i can say is that, lloyd is not responsible for what those dudes did and they should get a lot of time. as for his case in 89 lets be honest here, there are a lot of girls that let dudes run trains that's why theres even a nick name for it " trains " i've been at parties where a slutty girl let the whole party run a " train " and those situations can happen to anybody all a girl has to do is get caught by her parents or told on by someone and many girls will lie and say it was rape in order to save face with there parents and that happens a lot. so i can't just say Lioyd is a rapist because i wasn't there. and that shit can happen to anybody if your at a party with slutty chicks. If she was under aged then that may have been statutory rape, still sleezy, but consentual and not forced. But unfortunatly for lloyd people always rush to judgement

Lets face it, people will look past this in the end. Fuck even I might eventually. I did with 2pac, Mike Tyson, I fuucking love those dudes, and those guys were convicted. What does that say about me? Am I a piece of shit? I just don't know now tbh LOL

IMO, only makes him sound worse

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sam Sales

Lets face it, people will look past this in the end. Fuck even I might eventually. I did with 2pac, Mike Tyson, I fuucking love those dudes, and those guys were convicted. What does that say about me? Am I a piece of shit? I just don't know now tbh LOL

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2 pac didn't have to rape anybody, he and his friends ran a "train" on that chick and something happened that pissed her off and made her claim rape. she was just giving 2 pac some head in the club a few days before. Self defense is a big part of rape prevention, but also " self awareness " girls should not get sloppy drunk around dudes that they know or just "think they know" most rapes are done by people girls are familiar with date rape ect. girls should always be aware of the male vs femail ratio in most social situations. because often the few girls at a party are the actual "party favors" without knowing, simply sheep sorounded by wolves. girls should also never let anyone hand them a drink at a party because people will slip shit into there drinks. and never let a dude say hey " lets go into this back room and just talk " this is a speech that every parent should give there daughter if she's going to high school or college & many people avoid thease conversations because there uncomfortable, but thats like burying your head in the sand and taking a cowards way out, and if your not arming people you care about with knowledge that can help them in life then your not doing them any favors. and your just making them be an easy catch for the wolves

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cody Kietzman

I expected to see "for 19.99 read the rest of the letter on tli.com" lol.

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http://i.imgur.com/0NZO4.gif



Still haven't had a chance to read this. Not sure when I'll find the time.

Derrick, it seems like you're making the argument that women should moderate their behavior in order to stop from getting raped.
But you can't be making that argument because that argument is moronic.
It assumes that all men are just constantly running around in a state of pre-rape readiness just waiting (but hoping it doesn't happen) for the moment when some woman will let down her defenses and then, oops, you've been raped. You shouldn't have let your guard down, silly girl.
Women shouldn't have to walk around on their guard all the time, constantly fearing being attacked. Have you ever walked into a gay bar and felt like all the guys' eyes were on you and you felt uncomfortable as fuck because you felt like a piece of meat? That's pretty much what you're saying women should live their life in a constant state of.
Why should it be the woman's responsibility when prevention of rape is really as easy as NOT FUCKING RAPING SOMEONE. Jeez.
Sorry to rant, but this is something I feel very strongly about.

Obviously you shouldn't rape anybody. That's a given. But simply saying "rapists shouldn't rape" does nothing to actually prevent rapists from raping.

Ideally you should be able to walk any street of any city at all times of the day without being robbed or attacked, but if you put yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time, you have to be aware of the situation that you are in. It does you no good to bury your head in the sand and pretend that you're impervious to the outside world.

The sad reality is that for women, rape IS a constant looming threat. As a strong healthy guy you are almost never worried that a bigger stronger human being might target you to be attacked. For women, every day of their lives they have to be on the lookout for 50% of the people walking the planet who could possibly target them and overpower them. And there's a lot of shady fucks out there.

You can never isolate a victim and be like "This wouldn't have happened if she took better care of herself", that is completely fucked up and wrong. All you can do is look at what has been documented to happen in the past and use that information to make choices to put yourself in low risk situations.

I liked the;

I could go over all the facts and testimonies of the 1989 case showing that I was not in anyway at fault. Even though the court and most everyone else says I got off, because I couldn't get it up, I did not get off on a technicality. However I don't have time to give you the proof that I am innocent, because you won't believe me anyways. Just trust me everyone is lying about what the court says.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Josh Mahoney

Derrick, it seems like you're making the argument that women should moderate their behavior in order to stop from getting raped.
But you can't be making that argument because that argument is moronic.
It assumes that all men are just constantly running around in a state of pre-rape readiness just waiting (but hoping it doesn't happen) for the moment when some woman will let down her defenses and then, oops, you've been raped. You shouldn't have let your guard down, silly girl.
Women shouldn't have to walk around on their guard all the time, constantly fearing being attacked. Have you ever walked into a gay bar and felt like all the guys' eyes were on you and you felt uncomfortable as fuck because you felt like a piece of meat? That's pretty much what you're saying women should live their life in a constant state of.
Why should it be the woman's responsibility when prevention of rape is really as easy as NOT FUCKING RAPING SOMEONE. Jeez.
Sorry to rant, but this is something I feel very strongly about.

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This is the real world & the real world is fucked up. in a perfect world '' Stop Raping'' world work. but in this world woman need to be aware period

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Josh Mahoney

Derrick, it seems like you're making the argument that women should moderate their behavior in order to stop from getting raped.
But you can't be making that argument because that argument is moronic.
It assumes that all men are just constantly running around in a state of pre-rape readiness just waiting (but hoping it doesn't happen) for the moment when some woman will let down her defenses and then, oops, you've been raped. You shouldn't have let your guard down, silly girl.
Women shouldn't have to walk around on their guard all the time, constantly fearing being attacked. Have you ever walked into a gay bar and felt like all the guys' eyes were on you and you felt uncomfortable as fuck because you felt like a piece of meat? That's pretty much what you're saying women should live their life in a constant state of.
Why should it be the woman's responsibility when prevention of rape is really as easy as NOT FUCKING RAPING SOMEONE. Jeez.
Sorry to rant, but this is something I feel very strongly about.

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I cant speak for him but I believe derrick was just saying in his first post that often women claim rape after the fact to save face. I've seen exactly what he described happen more than once.

In his second post I think he was saying that women should take some precautions, not because we should accept rape as a society but because it does happen all to often and your a fool living in a fantasy-land if you dont take precautions. Should women walk around on their guard all the time? No but they damn sure should in many situations. Should women constantly fearing being attacked? Of course not, you dont have to be afraid to be careful just realistic. Do you wear your seat belt out of fear or because logic and experience indicate it is a good idea?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Josh Mahoney

Have you ever walked into a gay bar and felt like all the guys' eyes were on you and you felt uncomfortable as fuck because you felt like a piece of meat?

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Yes. Yes I have.

Yeah I think you misunderstood Derricks post too, Josh.

He was saying that there are women out there who willingly take part in group sex, and might cry "rape" if anyone finds out about it in order to save their reputation. I suppose that line of thought is "Better to be known as a victim than a party slut".

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bobby rivers

Yes. Yes I have.

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Dammit Bobby i said i was sorry it was the first time i'd ever seen such a pretty man, pls don't feel uncomfortably, here sip on this water, don't worry it's a pill shaped cherry, i swear.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by WilliamGunter

Dammit Bobby i said i was sorry it was the first time i'd ever seen such a pretty man, pls don't feel uncomfortably, here sip on this water, don't worry it's a pill shaped cherry, i swear.

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I know. I was wearin my baby gap t and some flattering 32x32s. I was basically begging for it. It's not your fault. You're a human, with needs.

Finally read it. The man would make a good politician. I can't say I believe him or not. But the timing of everything definitely taints his image further.

And it continues. This is a very well written response to Lloyd Irvin's and Luca Atalla's public statements from a prolific BJJ blogger, Georgette Oden.

http://georgetteoden.blogspot.co.uk/...-and-luca.html

OK, I have been trying not to weigh in on this but I can't help myself. First and let me be very clear about this statement because nothing boils my blood more: IT IS NEVER OK OR APPROPRIATE TO CALL A GIRL OR WOMAN A SLUT OR SLUTTY! This attitude feeds into the mentality that makes things "OK" because she's a "slut" and that makes her less of a person than other non sluts. Obviously as woman this is an incredibly personal subject for me and here's my 2 cents regarding those girls that "let guys run trains on them": I guarantee that "all of these girls you know" are somehow intoxicated when this happens. Unless she is stone cold sober, it's RAPE -when you are intoxicated, by law you can't give consent and we all know the "train" stories are about girls who are wasted. IMO the slutty girl train stories are a weak ass excuse. And, ok lets just say she soberly wants to do it, then who are you to call her names and judge her and call her a slut while high fiving and applauding the conquest of the guys. Get the fuck out of here with that shit. Its not ok to shame anyone about their sexuality what they choose to do with. And before someone jumps in with what about the false accusation argument. Yes, that too is awful and just as wrong when someone is falsely accused of raping someone, but I can guarantee that the cases where the victim is blamed and the rapists are protected far outweigh that situation.

I couldn't agree with what Josh said more and regarding the other statements about how women just need to accept it and be aware: Trust me you guys do not need to tell any women that we need to "be aware." We are aware, every single day. We are aware when another woman is raped and people act like "she asked for it" or "she should have known" or "been more careful and not put herself in that situation". As understanding as some guys are, it's impossible to ever convey the way this feels and how absolutely aware we are. EVERY TIME a woman walks out her front door its in the back of her head that she could be sexually attacked. EVERY TIME not just when we are wearing a mini skirt and eyeliner or going to a bar or party. It's there when were leaving the gym or in a parking garage or hallway or on the sidewalk. When we are catcalled, it's not flattering, in fact more often than not, we're trying to assess if we're in danger and if this guy is going to flip out on us if we say the wrong thing or react in a way that he deems us "being a bitch about it" and that fear jumps up exponentially if there's more than one guy. Think about that or share it with a friend next time you're in that situation. Almost every single woman I know has been sexually assaulted or raped. I'm talking like 99% myself included. The details of my story aren't important, but I can tell you that under no circumstances was I asking for it nor did I deserve it and the residual pain it caused. Additionally I have felt my life was in danger more than once and I can tell you guys that my stories aren't that much different from other women I know. Take a poll of the women you know, most of them will have multiple stories. Sexual assault isn't just confined to rape by penetration. Which leads me to the topic at hand Lloyd Irvin.

What happened to his student is horrible, but it wasn't his fault and he should not be held responsible for the actions of the two guys that raped that woman on their own accord. What he should be held accountable for and what he forgot to claim responsibility for in his declaration of innocence is that he admitted to holding that girl down while she was being raped and that he wanted to have his turn but couldn't get it up. So, I guess, good for him that in the courts eyes that didn't qualify him as a rapist, however if I were the girl being held down I wouldn't make the differentiation or use the word innocent regarding his involvement. I don't know, maybe by teaching rape prevention seminars he has made some kind of karmic amends. Maybe he's a different person than he was 20 years ago, I know I wouldn't make many of the same choices that I made when I was 20. I also don't think that totally absolves him of his actions, especially as long as there's not claim of responsibility for his actions that he admitted to and I don't think I would pay him for any kind of training now knowing this. He's obviously in damage control mode, that doesn't make him unique. To be perfectly honest I'm less concerned about Lloyd Irvin specifically as I am about the attitude toward rape in general.

I'll get off my soap box now.

I was truly sad to see how the BJJ community turned into an irrational lynch mob when these issues surfaced. Specifically, the hate directed at Lloyd for something that supposedly happened 20 years ago.

I say supposedly because the official statement and the defense a lawyer offers up isn't meant to be true, it's meant to keep you out of jail. Hence the 'limp noodle' defense. That may be what happened, it may not be. But it's the best Lloyd's lawyer could do to keep a young kid from going to jail.

The only people who know what *really* happened 20 years ago are Lloyd, Lloyd's lawyer and perhaps a few others.

For those of you who have never been in a situation where you were accused of something you didn't do...it's truly horrifying. Imagine you wake up one day and the police are banging on your door, cuffing you and taking you away, without reading you any rights and interrogating you aggressively in the hopes that you say something stupid and incriminate yourself out of fear, so the district attorney can get another notch on his or her belt for putting away a "rapist" or "abusive husband" or whatever you were accused of doing.

Rape is evil, straight up. What scares me is that if it were up to the BJJ community, Lloyd would have been sent to jail based on his "official" defense from 20 years ago. Thank god we have some semblance of a legal system in the united states that requires proof beyond a reasonable doubt to put a man behind bars. Otherwise, every girl who wanted to put a guy away could do so. Put that in your pipe in smoke it. ...along with some heefer. ;-)

At last he has broke the silence.