On Competing at EBI6 and Sole Sponsorship: An Entreaty
Dear Planeteers,
By now, hopefully you’ve heard that I’m competing at EBI6 next month. Let me try to sum up the stunning awesomeness of this event in a single sentence. It’s a tournament littered with much of the greatest grappling talent alive today, without weight classes, under submission-only rules, in a storied venue with operatic beauty, which will likely be the most-watched grappling event ever thanks to a deal with the UFC. If that doesn’t make you urinate uncontrollably, I don’t know what will (short of urethritis). I’m first and foremost extremely grateful towards Eddie for making this happen at all. This wasn’t an overnight effort either; this is the result of a career spent campaigning as a pariah, espousing ridiculed ideologies and ignoring the haters. Thanks, Eddie.
Secondly, I’m thrilled to be included. 10th Planet jiujitsu has largely shaped my adult life. It has been a bastion during turbulent times, has softened my angry nature into geniality, has shaped my body into a flexible yet hardened weapon. My first jiujitsu class was at 10th Planet HQ, back when the HQ moniker would’ve been redundant because it was the only one. When I met Eddie, who looked younger than me, he was like, “a wrestler? Jump into advanced class, no problem.” He taught us the basic rubberguard path from closed guard with a carny finish: break the posture -> mission control -> zombie -> clear the head -> kung fu -> carny. On that first night, and honestly throughout that first week, to say I performed the movements like a flailing mongoloid would be insulting to flailing mongoloids. Nevertheless, I returned in spite of my embarrassing lack of aptitude, in large part because of the welcoming atmosphere. My senior practitioners, soon to be my friends, corrected my technique without seeming to correct me as a person. And because of this, I improved, and now that sequence, closed guard to carny, is as natural as breathing. Years later, when he promoted me to purple belt, I pulled Eddie aside and said, “but Eddie, I don’t even know how to do an armbar from guard!” And he responded, “Who gives a shit? You’ll just carny everyone instead.”
What does this have to do with EBI6? The point is, 10th Planet is in my blood at this point, and I don’t want to represent anything else. Many people have been urging me to seek sponsorship; as I said, this may be the most-watched grappling event ever and eyeballs equal advertising cash. I don’t denigrate anyone who is seeking such sponsorship, and I don’t begrudge them the opportunity. For me, however, I am extremely fortunate to be in a position to continue honing my BJJ skills and otherwise pursuing my life dreams without the need for sponsors. Thus, I have come to the conclusion that the only logo I will wear upon my person will be that of 10th Planet. It has morphed into a hundred beautiful variants, and that is where you come in.
Send me your rashguards, you mighty moonheads, you creative geniuses, you warriors-turned-clothing-designer. I’ll wear them during the tournament, and I’ll put on a new one after every win. I’ll wear them while I train and I’ll post selfies of me in them in all my sweaty glory, nevermind that my nature leads me to avoid such things. Send me your shorts, vale tudo or otherwise, and we’ll see if my misshapen thighs can fit in them. I’ll wear these things at EBI and beyond, so that I can shout your names proudly. I’ll represent the 10th Planet diaspora, the hundred scattered dojos, so that you may all have a voice in this, a watershed moment in our history.
If you’re interested, please hit me up on facebook. My criteria are: comfort first, followed by (my own personal) aesthetic judgment. I have a gorillaceous physique, so I never know beforehand what will fit and what won’t, and I can't sacrifice function for beauty.
Thanks for listening and for your support. One love, 10P4L.
