BJJ for your significant other

I have often asked my training partners when they are going to get their wives or girlfriends signed up for BJJ classes. The most common answer I get is something like this:

"Never. BJJ is my sanctuary, I do no want her here... this place is like my boy's club."

I kind of understand where they are coming from, but for me it's completely the opposite. My girl started training 6 months ago I couldn't be happier. She's completely obsessed. She trains 3-4 times a week, as often as her body will let her at this point. She falls asleep most nights reading her Jiu Jitsu notes.

Sharing this passion with her makes me very happy. It seems like being BJJ partners is making us better partners in life.

I'm wondering what you guys think about this subject. Is BJJ something you would want your significant other to participate in?

My wife started training with me 6 months ago. She initially did it to allow me to get to class more. She said she would at least try it for one month. She hated the first week, but was hooked after that. It is nice to be able to compare "notes" after each class. She is much more technical than I am and seems to remember details better. She is now much more knowledgeable when we watch MMA fights together :-D

She enjoys the 10th Planet System, especially the truck. We are both attending a Geo "Freakahzoid" Martinez seminar this weekend, I enjoy having her as a partner :-D

I've seen a lot of couples able to train together but "Never. BJJ is my sanctuary, I do no want her here... this place is like my boy's club." is exactly how i feel

My girl trains she just got her blue belt even though it's tricky at times I really do love the fact that she trains it definitely brings us closer together plus I have a training partner no matter where we go.

My wife trains. I think she's going to be a blue belt in 3-6 months.

She likes to pass guard and choke fools.

I'm super happy about all of that. I don't get to train quite as much but sharing your passion with your favorite person is awesome. The fact that we have totally different styles makes it more interesting.

My kids all train too. So we're a jiu jitsu family. :D

But my relatives who don't train are like aliens to me now. :(

I think this tends to vary from couple to couple (along with whether or not it's ok to date within your club if the feelings are mutual). I'm sure for every case of where the husband and wife met each other through jiu jitsu, or got introduced through their spouse or dating partner there's prob just as many cases where things ended on a less then ideal note and the two got forced into interacting purely platonic or one had to leave the club (if even for a bit to give each person the proverbial "break up" or "break" space.

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Originally Posted by Freakahzoid

My girl trains she just got her blue belt even though it's tricky at times I really do love the fact that she trains it definitely brings us closer together plus I have a training partner no matter where we go.

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may i ask what things you mean with "it's tricky sometimes"?

I trained with my (ex)gf for years. She's a supremely talented blue belt (women are just plain good at bjj). We broke up almost a year ago now and are seeing other people. Anyway, things have never been more awkward at gym when she's around haha. She kinda buddied up with some of the dudes and it's just changed the dynamic. But while we were together it was great, and I'm encouraging my current gf to get into it. Shes a champion powerlifter and I can tell she'd fuck some peeps up. Long story long, I say get your chick to train if you can. It's just too awesome of an experience to share together.

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Originally Posted by Spencer Cooper

. Shes a champion powerlifter and I can tell she'd fuck some peeps up.

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Badass :)

I never tried to get my girl into it, but we went to watch guys test for their bluebelt one day and there was a girl in the group testing. Afterward she said "I think I'd like to try that". It's been a party ever since.

Last night she tapped a girl who outweighs her by 30 lb and has about 8 months more experience. She was super, super excited when she got home. :) I was proud.

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I trained with my (ex)gf for years. She's a supremely talented blue belt (women are just plain good at bjj). We broke up almost a year ago now and are seeing other people. Anyway, things have never been more awkward at gym when she's around haha. She kinda buddied up with some of the dudes and it's just changed the dynamic. But while we were together it was great, and I'm encouraging my current gf to get into it.

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I had a similar experience too a couple years back with a female teammate (at the time) at one of the gyms I would train at. While we were together it was wicked cool to train together and talk jiu jitsu and martial arts, and we had 50 mutual friends too through the gym and jiu jitsu. When the relationship ended it was def a different spot for me (and maybe for her too) to be in sharing so many mutual friends and (for me at least on this part) hold conversations and not being sure whether to mention each other's names. Since then she's gotten pregnant and is winding down the last trimester, a couple of my instructors and friends at that gym have left too so we don't have that "awkward" dynamic as much anymore. I guess in your case hopefully at some point that feels less awkward too, and you both can look back and appreciate the time you both had together and that the rest of the training partners there don't have to feel like they're caught in the middle either.

But I def feel ya, like anything in life there's always a risk and reward factor. With some time since the ending of that relationship for me to process things, I can't say I would go out of my way to want to do that again with wanting to have a future dating partner train too, but if the opportunity presents itself I'd say we can all benefit from the exercise and self defense knowledge.

I think it's great, but I think it's even better when you're married. I was already married to Sean when I started jiu jitsu and he also is my coach so some people find that weird. But it helps me with my aggression to do jiu jitsu and compete, also it just constantly makes me work on myself and try to be a better person. When you have two people in a relationship doing that, I think it makes things work for the better. Also, like anyone, I respect my coach..you should respect your husband..so sometimes I have to swallow my pride on things, but its on things that I should, ya know. Also, I'm not bored. I don't feel like a very clingy wife because of it. I have a hobby. Now Sean isn't my partner in everything we go to, seminars, training camps, whatever, but i rep with whoever. I like everyone i train with. I have a ton of people I like and are like family at the gym. There's nothing better and I wouldn't give it up for anything. It's not for every woman, some really dislike it, but for me personally I feel like its been just what I needed and I'm glad Sean kept pushing me to keep trying it. It's nice too, I never feel like he doesn't support me. He's very encouraging with my training and competing. When I make goals and then possibly slack, he reminds me of them again. It's a great set up. :-)

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I had a similar experience too a couple years back with a female teammate (at the time) at one of the gyms I would train at. While we were together it was wicked cool to train together and talk jiu jitsu and martial arts, and we had 50 mutual friends too through the gym and jiu jitsu. When the relationship ended it was def a different spot for me (and maybe for her too) to be in sharing so many mutual friends and (for me at least on this part) hold conversations and not being sure whether to mention each other's names.

But I def feel ya, like anything in life there's always a risk and reward factor. With some time since the ending of that relationship for me to process things, I can't say I would go out of my way to want to do that again with wanting to have a future dating partner train too, but if the opportunity presents itself I'd say we can all benefit from the exercise and self defense knowledge.

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Buddy, it's a real treasure to train with the girl you're dating with. It makes your relationship stronger, and it even leads to the stronger love... For example, I had such experience with my ex (she was from Africa), but, she left me as I was concentrated too much on my tranings, so, guys, don't forget about the fact that you should take care of the girl you're dating with...

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I had a similar experience too a couple years back with a female teammate (at the time) at one of the gyms I would train at. While we were together it was wicked cool to train together and talk jiu jitsu and martial arts, and we had 50 mutual friends too through the gym and jiu jitsu. When the relationship ended it was def a different spot for me (and maybe for her too) to be in sharing so many mutual friends and (for me at least on this part) hold conversations and not being sure whether to mention each other's names. Since then she's gotten pregnant and is winding down the last trimester, a couple of my instructors and friends at that gym have left too so we don't have that "awkward" dynamic as much anymore. I guess in your case hopefully at some point that feels less awkward too, and you both can look back and appreciate the time you both had together and that the rest of the training partners there don't have to feel like they're caught in the middle either.

But I def feel ya, like anything in life there's always a risk and reward factor. With some time since the ending of that relationship for me to process things, I can't say I would go out of my way to want to do that again with wanting to have a future dating partner train too, but if the opportunity presents itself I'd say we can all benefit from the exercise and self defense knowledge.

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Buddy, it's a real treasure to train with the girl you're dating with. It makes your relationship stronger, and it even leads to the stronger love... For example, I had such experience with my ex (she was from Africa), but, she left me as I was concentrated too much on my tranings, so, guys, don't forget about the fact that you should take care of the girl you're dating with...

Buddy, it's a real treasure to train with the girl you're dating with. It makes your relationship stronger, and it even leads to the stronger love... For example, I had such experience with my ex (she was from Africa), but, she left me as I was concentrated too much on my tranings, so, guys, don't forget about the fact that you should take care of the girl you're dating with...

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Originally Posted by HerbChao

I had a similar experience too a couple years back with a female teammate (at the time) at one of the gyms I would train at. While we were together it was wicked cool to train together and talk jiu jitsu and martial arts, and we had 50 mutual friends too through the gym and jiu jitsu. When the relationship ended it was def a different spot for me (and maybe for her too) to be in sharing so many mutual friends and (for me at least on this part) hold conversations and not being sure whether to mention each other's names. Since then she's gotten pregnant and is winding down the last trimester, a couple of my instructors and friends at that gym have left too so we don't have that "awkward" dynamic as much anymore. I guess in your case hopefully at some point that feels less awkward too, and you both can look back and appreciate the time you both had together and that the rest of the training partners there don't have to feel like they're caught in the middle either.

But I def feel ya, like anything in life there's always a risk and reward factor. With some time since the ending of that relationship for me to process things, I can't say I would go out of my way to want to do that again with wanting to have a future dating partner train too, but if the opportunity presents itself I'd say we can all benefit from the exercise and self defense knowledge.

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Buddy, it's a real treasure to train with the girl you're dating with. It makes your relationship stronger, and it even leads to the stronger love... For example, I had such experience with my ex (she was from Africa), but, she left me as I was concentrated too much on my tranings, so, guys, don't forget about the fact that you should take care of the girl you're dating with...

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Originally Posted by brainstorm214

Buddy, it's a real treasure to train with the girl you're dating with. It makes your relationship stronger, and it even leads to the stronger love... For example, I had such experience with my ex (she was from Africa), but, she left me as I was concentrated too much on my tranings, so, guys, don't forget about the fact that you should take care of the girl you're dating with...

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wow, buddy, that's great! To be honest, my friend has almost the same story, as he trained together with his girlfriend that was from Africa too, lol, that's a coincidence... By the way, they are really happy living together now, and it's not surprising, as he carefully searched for the future wife. He checked a lot of forums, blogs and articles to find the best wife with a suitable behavior... And you know what? The article about how to find african mail order brides was the thing that convinced him search for girlfriend from Africa, as they're compassionate and fair, and girl that my friend found possessed the same qualities :)

High risk, High reward ;)