open letter from Lloyd Irvin

[bobby rivers]

Dammit Bobby i said i was sorry it was the first time i'd ever seen such a pretty man, pls don't feel uncomfortably, here sip on this water, don't worry it's a pill shaped cherry, i swear.

I know. I was wearin my baby gap t and some flattering 32x32s. I was basically begging for it. It's not your fault. You're a human, with needs.

[David Rosado]

Finally read it. The man would make a good politician. I can't say I believe him or not. But the timing of everything definitely taints his image further.

[Jack LaBarge]

And it continues. This is a very well written response to Lloyd Irvin's and Luca Atalla's public statements from a prolific BJJ blogger, Georgette Oden.

http://georgetteoden.blogspot.co.uk/...-and-luca.html

[Dawna]

OK, I have been trying not to weigh in on this but I can't help myself. First and let me be very clear about this statement because nothing boils my blood more: IT IS NEVER OK OR APPROPRIATE TO CALL A GIRL OR WOMAN A SLUT OR SLUTTY! This attitude feeds into the mentality that makes things "OK" because she's a "slut" and that makes her less of a person than other non sluts. Obviously as woman this is an incredibly personal subject for me and here's my 2 cents regarding those girls that "let guys run trains on them": I guarantee that "all of these girls you know" are somehow intoxicated when this happens. Unless she is stone cold sober, it's RAPE -when you are intoxicated, by law you can't give consent and we all know the "train" stories are about girls who are wasted. IMO the slutty girl train stories are a weak ass excuse. And, ok lets just say she soberly wants to do it, then who are you to call her names and judge her and call her a slut while high fiving and applauding the conquest of the guys. Get the fuck out of here with that shit. Its not ok to shame anyone about their sexuality what they choose to do with. And before someone jumps in with what about the false accusation argument. Yes, that too is awful and just as wrong when someone is falsely accused of raping someone, but I can guarantee that the cases where the victim is blamed and the rapists are protected far outweigh that situation.

I couldn't agree with what Josh said more and regarding the other statements about how women just need to accept it and be aware: Trust me you guys do not need to tell any women that we need to "be aware." We are aware, every single day. We are aware when another woman is raped and people act like "she asked for it" or "she should have known" or "been more careful and not put herself in that situation". As understanding as some guys are, it's impossible to ever convey the way this feels and how absolutely aware we are. EVERY TIME a woman walks out her front door its in the back of her head that she could be sexually attacked. EVERY TIME not just when we are wearing a mini skirt and eyeliner or going to a bar or party. It's there when were leaving the gym or in a parking garage or hallway or on the sidewalk. When we are catcalled, it's not flattering, in fact more often than not, we're trying to assess if we're in danger and if this guy is going to flip out on us if we say the wrong thing or react in a way that he deems us "being a bitch about it" and that fear jumps up exponentially if there's more than one guy. Think about that or share it with a friend next time you're in that situation. Almost every single woman I know has been sexually assaulted or raped. I'm talking like 99% myself included. The details of my story aren't important, but I can tell you that under no circumstances was I asking for it nor did I deserve it and the residual pain it caused. Additionally I have felt my life was in danger more than once and I can tell you guys that my stories aren't that much different from other women I know. Take a poll of the women you know, most of them will have multiple stories. Sexual assault isn't just confined to rape by penetration. Which leads me to the topic at hand Lloyd Irvin.

What happened to his student is horrible, but it wasn't his fault and he should not be held responsible for the actions of the two guys that raped that woman on their own accord. What he should be held accountable for and what he forgot to claim responsibility for in his declaration of innocence is that he admitted to holding that girl down while she was being raped and that he wanted to have his turn but couldn't get it up. So, I guess, good for him that in the courts eyes that didn't qualify him as a rapist, however if I were the girl being held down I wouldn't make the differentiation or use the word innocent regarding his involvement. I don't know, maybe by teaching rape prevention seminars he has made some kind of karmic amends. Maybe he's a different person than he was 20 years ago, I know I wouldn't make many of the same choices that I made when I was 20. I also don't think that totally absolves him of his actions, especially as long as there's not claim of responsibility for his actions that he admitted to and I don't think I would pay him for any kind of training now knowing this. He's obviously in damage control mode, that doesn't make him unique. To be perfectly honest I'm less concerned about Lloyd Irvin specifically as I am about the attitude toward rape in general.

I'll get off my soap box now.

[VicDorfman]

I was truly sad to see how the BJJ community turned into an irrational lynch mob when these issues surfaced. Specifically, the hate directed at Lloyd for something that supposedly happened 20 years ago.

I say supposedly because the official statement and the defense a lawyer offers up isn't meant to be true, it's meant to keep you out of jail. Hence the 'limp noodle' defense. That may be what happened, it may not be. But it's the best Lloyd's lawyer could do to keep a young kid from going to jail.

The only people who know what *really* happened 20 years ago are Lloyd, Lloyd's lawyer and perhaps a few others.

For those of you who have never been in a situation where you were accused of something you didn't do...it's truly horrifying. Imagine you wake up one day and the police are banging on your door, cuffing you and taking you away, without reading you any rights and interrogating you aggressively in the hopes that you say something stupid and incriminate yourself out of fear, so the district attorney can get another notch on his or her belt for putting away a "rapist" or "abusive husband" or whatever you were accused of doing.

Rape is evil, straight up. What scares me is that if it were up to the BJJ community, Lloyd would have been sent to jail based on his "official" defense from 20 years ago. Thank god we have some semblance of a legal system in the united states that requires proof beyond a reasonable doubt to put a man behind bars. Otherwise, every girl who wanted to put a guy away could do so. Put that in your pipe in smoke it. ...along with some heefer. ;-)

[chris miah]

At last he has broke the silence.