Throwing myself to the wolves.

Okay, I have a message I typed out for Eddie Bravo. It is quite long and drawn out. For which I will try to again graciously apologize for. I know I've kinda been floating around the forums for awhile now. Saying this and that but aside from personal health improving dramatically I have not managed to make much gain or headway else were.

I need an outlet and a plan. A base to build up from and I'm driven to such a degree that at this point it is do or die. This is my fixation. As far as passions or dreams go. This is it. I am willing to back myself into a literal financial corner to achieve it. Money has never meant much to me unless it is a means to an end.

I know some of you might rip on me hard for posting this. Some of you might understand. But I'm running out of time and patience and unfortunately Eddies private cache is full. It would take ages and ages to explain why I want to do this and what drives me. I do not doubt this letter I wrote to Eddie marks me as a little naive and unstable. I would like to humbly ask you save your judgements until we ever meet in person.

I have spent four years of my life building up this plan and the reasons for it. I can assure you I've debated the merits and pitfalls in it. All I need is a helping hand cause I do not think I will find it here. Or at least not soon enough for my tastes. I want to make head way in two years. Not start to at four.

So, umm. Here we go.. My private letter to Eddie. Judge and dicuss as you will. I will be keeping an eye for answer and reply from him, Herzog, or one of his other instructors.

I tried adding you on facebook but I figured it would be somewhat rude. Would here be more acceptable to get in touch with you?

In hindsight this message turned out really, really long. My condolences before hand. Take your time reading this as your are undoubtably very busy.

You might have noticed me sorta floating around the forums. I am trying to find work. But honestly without a solid plan I do not see me finding and holding a job.

You see, I 'suffer' from Aspergers. And while it doesn't limit me mentally, vocally, or physically. It does limit me a lot as my focus and passion is concerned. My whole life these fours has been obcessed with Jiu Jitsu, grappling, and now stand up and mma. My computer is filled to the gills with Jiu Jitsu, Stand up, Wrestling and Fights. Techniques, dvds.. Everything lol.

Anything that caught my eye or I knew I would eventually run into and need to trouble shoot. I've been wrestling for six or seven years before I got injured and stopped but it comes to me intuitively and my passion for it is rekindled. I was an average wrestler at best because mentally my heart wasn't in it. I was average cause I thought I was average even though my reflexes and physical resaults were proving otherwise.

Mentally with all these new knowledge being dropped every which way I am getting huge chunks of the puzzle thrown my way with everything but the training.

Now, I do apologize for being some what long winded but I wanted you to see what I'm talking about. I've been running, stretching, and working out religiously to get my base back. But I need a plan dude. I need to get out of here.

My dad isn't impressed with me yet won't help me find work. How can I explain to him that unless I have an outlet then as far as work is concerned I am screwed. My brain will not let me off the hook for maybe 15 minutes before its back to pondering something combat or health related.

So getting to the whole point of the matter, Mr. Eddie Bravo. Royler Gracie was my hero and insight into Jiu Jitsu before I found the video of you upsetting him. Maybe subconciously I latched onto that and have been using to fuel my own atom bomb of a dream that I could do the same in mma. I've never been a religious person but I can feel my life pulling, hard in this direction. Everything is leading up to something. I wouldn't be having things happen like they are at this point of my life if it were overwise.

My mom is good friends with Nate Querry and has been talking and hanging out with Cael Sonnen. I have some people that diversify me and get me in touch with the right people. But I need a base art and I know Jiu Jitsu and what I can do with wrestling will make me a monster at 135/145.

I'd like to train with you and your boys at headquarters. I've never moved or lived anywere else really besides here in Oregon. I'd be willing to get a job and save up for a trip and to cover myself for awhile but I wanna be able to get down there. Find work, room up with someone and train in earnest. I will do whatever is asked of me humbly, graciously, and to the best of my ability.

If you need someone to help out around the gym that would be amazing but if not then I would need someone to offer me a little help as far as work is concerned. I am humble enough to admit that as far those things go I am very naive. The best way I can describe is I am like Nick Diaz. Very intense, driven, and focused on the things I need to succed in my craft but the day to day is extremely taxing.

I really apologize that this was such a long read. I have heard that you are very caring and driven to your students. I origenally wanted to get in touch with Caesar Gracie and move down to his gym as it was closer but I have not recieved any word back from them.

It seems more fitting that the person to first inspire this whole mess of a dream teach me. I would love to represent you and your branch of Jiu Jitsu in the UFC as soon as inhumanly possible. I humbly hope you don't rip me a new one. I'd appreciate to hear your thoughts, Eddie. I also put this link in so you can see exactly what I'm talking about as far as the symptoms of my condition goes.

((http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome))

Ugh typos as I read it but there you go. I can already hear the trolls coming out the woodwork but I am way to driven at this point to care. To paraphrase I am not looking for a hand out or special treatment. I am willing to do what ever it takes to reach the top level. I can find work and save up. But mentally and passionately. I am at a dead end. I keep getting the maybe and soon promises from my mother and I am quite frankly fed up with it. These things will get me nowere that I want to be.

Good luck

With everything

Thank you, Gator. I wish you the best of luck as well. Did you see my post in your thread? I hope that helps. Not an expert by any means. Just sorta figured it out by reading up but I hope your knees quit giving you trouble. The only time my knees have hurt is when I was trying to force a stretch.But now that I've been taking it a little slower they have only been getting better and better. If you can try and see about getting the Guiness of Flexibility by Bob Cooley. It helpt me by leaps and bounds and his words can likely sort out your problems then anything I myself wrote.

Not sure who else replied to your thread but I hope you get the answers your looking for. A lot of good people here. :]

I was born in Salem and moved to Indianapolis when I was 5 so I do miss the west coast. I've been back quite a few times and I love it. Oregon is a beautiful place and you do have a lot of really high level guys right next to you. Sonnen and Quarry are 2 bad ass dudes who you should probably try to learn from as well (if you haven't already) considering you are so close. The Eugene and Portland moons aren't too far either. You're almost equal distance from each one. I think Portland might be slightly closer. I would be itching to train at HQ too bro. Just curious why did you title this thread throwing myself to the wolves? Nobody is going to judge you or talk shit about you wanting to train with Eddie at HQ. I think it's awesome you are so driven to be successful. Keep training hard brother.

I appreciate your love for 10p, I really do, but if you don't have a super solid plan, moving to LA will prolly be a nightmar. LA is not for someone looking for job or hoping to room with someone that you might meet out here. It's a vicious city that must be thoroughly prepared for. I actually have gotten quite a few of these emails this year, and I tell them all what telling you, if you don't have a super solid plan it will prolly be a nightmare for you, good luck!

Back in around 1997 or 8, I was heavy into wakeboarding. (Still do it, but I am not a fanatic anymore).

I was a member on a forum, and I made a call out like this. I was ready to pack up and drop everything, and move to Cali or Florida to pursue wakeboarding, in hopes to make a living at that lifestyle. I spent some time saving up some cash, and I spent some time networking.

I remember one guy named Travis lived in California. He was married, and had a couple young children, and a boat, and was into wakeboarding. He had a pop-up tent trailer in his laneway that he said I could use, and he had a brother in law that was into construction. He lined up a job for me, and had a bunch of stuff worked out. He talked it over with his wife, and she was game for letting me live in their laneway in the trailer.

I was just about to move to Cali, and then I met a girl. I liked her, and ended up staying, wasting a year and a half on her. I found out later on that she was a downtown whore, and after I dumped her people were like "Dude, she was a slut, you didn't know?" I was thinking "wtf didn't any of you retards tell me??". By the time that shit was over with, the free-ride I had arranged in California was no longer available due to Travis's life circumstances changing as well. So I stayed in Canada.

Moral of the story is that I was young and single and ready to throw myself to the wolves, and ended up NOT taking the chance in the end.

I am happy with the way things have turned out and wouldn't change anything (Other than maybe winning the lottery or something) but I am certainly not a professional wakeboarder living in California.

If you're young and without children, take the chance. As long as you know that
(A) You can depend on family if you really fuck up and need to come home, and
(B) You will not allow yourself to become hooked on street drugs and suck knobs for a living, then go for it.

You should be able to find some work out there. You will need to arrange some couches to surf on for a while, and that is the hard part. People are pretty busy with life, so you could have a hard time finding someone that is willing to let you invade their life and home as a non-paying guest while you get on your feet, but it never hurts to at least ask. I know I was all set up if I had have never met that douchebag I told you about.

So the two lessons to walk away with after readng this:
1) Go for it
2) If your friend is unknowingly dating a slut, tell him. That's what good friends do.

Thank you guys for the replies. Eddie, you continue to live up to your reputation. I really do appreciate it. I suppose I am to used to running around Sherdog at times. I was worried I would get heavily bashed. I was sitting here thinking that by the time I have money saved up I would likely know a bit more about my situation as far as the people here are concerned. I still wanna eventually get down there and train. This not something I wanna miss out on in my toolset.

I understand that nothing is really set in stone but I wanted at least a foundation of a plan set up. Given what you said Eddie when it gets down to it. I will prob read up on the area quite a bit. Can't be any crazier then going down to Stockton to train though I may have opened my mouth to soon. I really appreciate the replies and the mind check. Given me a bit to think about.

It's great to have purposeful dreams and goals to stive for, and the those of us that have been with the system awhile appreciate the engergetic support. However make sure you have a strategic game plan that will best allow you to accomplish those goals. What can you start doing today that can allow you to follow through with those dreams. Be patient as well, it may not happen over night, just keep the eye on the prize!

you were right to think you should network a bit first. that being said, you have to look out for number one, if you know what i mean. making a big move, especially to a big city, has to be well planned. you need several back up plans as well. start by setting a time frame in which you'd like to be there. you can work towards that time frame and it will help keep things in perspective. there have been several people that have made moves to train at a moon. seek these people out for some guidance. what you want is totally achievable. you just gotta make it happen :)

I know that Jose Aldo was from he slums of Brazil and was sleeping in the gym every night and look what he became.. If you want to succeed you'll succeed... You just have to want it as much as you want to breathe. Hell my dad came to this country with 0 money 0 people he knew. Nothing. He went from train to train sleeping in he engineers private cart to make it here. He wanted a better life so h did it. If you want I bad enough leave this weekend. Hitchhike to L.A. if you have to and sleep in front of Eddies 10p gym if that what it takes to learn from him. He'll see how dedicated you are and will probably so annoyed with how persistent you he'll teach you. Stay after a 10 p class and ask questions. And it doesn't have to be Eddie ... Im sure all 10p schools are run by great guys who obviously know more about JJ then you could imagine. But if your hellbent on Eddie and L.A. Nothing is stopping you. You need to as this post is titled "Throw yourself to the Wolves" and not just by sendin a long messays to Eddie on his forum he'll look over. I'm sure he gets 100's of those. Put yourself out there. What youre talking about isnt for eveyone its a battle moving to somewhere you dont know, finding work... All in pursuit of a dream , it wouldn't be .. But if you wHere's something hat might inspire you and make you make that step... Not just a letter to Eddie but a step toward getting on a bus this weekend... Hutchhiking this weekend ... Doing whatever it takes to make your dream possible no matter how uncomfortable it is or how much It will suck, no one is going to hand you anything ever.



http://youtube.com/watch?v=pGNtWTxQ6cc

Uhhhh.. That one is motivating for self growth... I meant to send this one about putting yourself out there and "throwing yourself to the wolves" and the pain that comes along with it http://youtube.com/watch?v=-L1stBkpWBc

Sorry for typos forget that iPhone auto corrects and words change and sometimes don't appear

good luck. I believe in you man

All the best mate, as others said baby steps. Each day/week/month have a goal that will have you one step closer than the day/week/month before. All the best.

Get a job driving truck. Then you get to drive around all day cranking sweet tunes and thinking about last night's matches. I too fall somewhere on the spectrum. It works for me, kinda at least.

Of course it took years of getting fired and beat up before I found jiu jitsu and everything started to work. I actually started training after seeing Eddie in High Times. Good luck man. If you come up to Edmonton I could get you working in about 5 minutes.

Or fortmacmurry... Starting wage at Tim hortons is like 22 an hour... You just have to not mind living on frozen tundra

Hey man,

Here are some things you need to do before moving here:

#1- Save up $2k-$3k. LA has a way of vacuuming out money...

#2- Fill out every single application that you can find via Craigslist, Monster, Dice, Etc.
- Line up interviews over the course of 1 month.
- Have clothes ready for interviews, etc.

#3- Reach out to friends/family (if you have them), or start looking for rooms to rent/places to stay. If you want to live IN LA, make sure that these places have access to parking... Getting towed sucks... my first stint in LA, I was the guy that got towed.

hey

best of luck man, i remember when i was having some really crap jobs and bein absolutely obsesssed with jiu jitsu and fighting in general and so i wuld always try to put it all into my work, make my job a training session, instead of throwing that cardboard box in the bin id punch it in or kick it in or if i had to sit and do something that was while doing the butterfly strech or lotus. its like eddie says, get used to do it everywhere and eventually it works. i was thnking doing this would possibly be able to help u have anoter job while still thinking about mma etc.

my other ten cents and i mean this in the nicest way. dont let your asbegers control whatyou do. use it to make urself better. if i remember correctly asbergers people usually focus on thing that they really love a lot more than normal. use that concentration to shape ur life. to never give up. make it a gift instead of a hinderence.

and my last piece. if you cant get down to cali/eddie bring it to u. train with other and train the system until uve gotten good enough to open a hotbox, then get a few guys to train with and eventually u can open up a moon of ur own. if this is what u really love then it doesnt matter where u do it.

best of luck man and i hope u succeed and go far, ill be keeping an eye and ear out for ur name on ufc

Best of luck bro! Follow your dreams but like Eddie said your plan has to be on point or it will be a disaster. Maybe try starting out with trips to Portland and build up from there.