Throwing myself to the wolves.

[Blaine Stevens]

Okay, I have a message I typed out for Eddie Bravo. It is quite long and drawn out. For which I will try to again graciously apologize for. I know I've kinda been floating around the forums for awhile now. Saying this and that but aside from personal health improving dramatically I have not managed to make much gain or headway else were.

I need an outlet and a plan. A base to build up from and I'm driven to such a degree that at this point it is do or die. This is my fixation. As far as passions or dreams go. This is it. I am willing to back myself into a literal financial corner to achieve it. Money has never meant much to me unless it is a means to an end.

I know some of you might rip on me hard for posting this. Some of you might understand. But I'm running out of time and patience and unfortunately Eddies private cache is full. It would take ages and ages to explain why I want to do this and what drives me. I do not doubt this letter I wrote to Eddie marks me as a little naive and unstable. I would like to humbly ask you save your judgements until we ever meet in person.

I have spent four years of my life building up this plan and the reasons for it. I can assure you I've debated the merits and pitfalls in it. All I need is a helping hand cause I do not think I will find it here. Or at least not soon enough for my tastes. I want to make head way in two years. Not start to at four.

So, umm. Here we go.. My private letter to Eddie. Judge and dicuss as you will. I will be keeping an eye for answer and reply from him, Herzog, or one of his other instructors.

[Blaine Stevens]

I tried adding you on facebook but I figured it would be somewhat rude. Would here be more acceptable to get in touch with you?

In hindsight this message turned out really, really long. My condolences before hand. Take your time reading this as your are undoubtably very busy.

You might have noticed me sorta floating around the forums. I am trying to find work. But honestly without a solid plan I do not see me finding and holding a job.

You see, I 'suffer' from Aspergers. And while it doesn't limit me mentally, vocally, or physically. It does limit me a lot as my focus and passion is concerned. My whole life these fours has been obcessed with Jiu Jitsu, grappling, and now stand up and mma. My computer is filled to the gills with Jiu Jitsu, Stand up, Wrestling and Fights. Techniques, dvds.. Everything lol.

Anything that caught my eye or I knew I would eventually run into and need to trouble shoot. I've been wrestling for six or seven years before I got injured and stopped but it comes to me intuitively and my passion for it is rekindled. I was an average wrestler at best because mentally my heart wasn't in it. I was average cause I thought I was average even though my reflexes and physical resaults were proving otherwise.

Mentally with all these new knowledge being dropped every which way I am getting huge chunks of the puzzle thrown my way with everything but the training.

Now, I do apologize for being some what long winded but I wanted you to see what I'm talking about. I've been running, stretching, and working out religiously to get my base back. But I need a plan dude. I need to get out of here.

My dad isn't impressed with me yet won't help me find work. How can I explain to him that unless I have an outlet then as far as work is concerned I am screwed. My brain will not let me off the hook for maybe 15 minutes before its back to pondering something combat or health related.

So getting to the whole point of the matter, Mr. Eddie Bravo. Royler Gracie was my hero and insight into Jiu Jitsu before I found the video of you upsetting him. Maybe subconciously I latched onto that and have been using to fuel my own atom bomb of a dream that I could do the same in mma. I've never been a religious person but I can feel my life pulling, hard in this direction. Everything is leading up to something. I wouldn't be having things happen like they are at this point of my life if it were overwise.

My mom is good friends with Nate Querry and has been talking and hanging out with Cael Sonnen. I have some people that diversify me and get me in touch with the right people. But I need a base art and I know Jiu Jitsu and what I can do with wrestling will make me a monster at 135/145.

I'd like to train with you and your boys at headquarters. I've never moved or lived anywere else really besides here in Oregon. I'd be willing to get a job and save up for a trip and to cover myself for awhile but I wanna be able to get down there. Find work, room up with someone and train in earnest. I will do whatever is asked of me humbly, graciously, and to the best of my ability.

If you need someone to help out around the gym that would be amazing but if not then I would need someone to offer me a little help as far as work is concerned. I am humble enough to admit that as far those things go I am very naive. The best way I can describe is I am like Nick Diaz. Very intense, driven, and focused on the things I need to succed in my craft but the day to day is extremely taxing.

I really apologize that this was such a long read. I have heard that you are very caring and driven to your students. I origenally wanted to get in touch with Caesar Gracie and move down to his gym as it was closer but I have not recieved any word back from them.

It seems more fitting that the person to first inspire this whole mess of a dream teach me. I would love to represent you and your branch of Jiu Jitsu in the UFC as soon as inhumanly possible. I humbly hope you don't rip me a new one. I'd appreciate to hear your thoughts, Eddie. I also put this link in so you can see exactly what I'm talking about as far as the symptoms of my condition goes.

((http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome))

[Blaine Stevens]

Ugh typos as I read it but there you go. I can already hear the trolls coming out the woodwork but I am way to driven at this point to care. To paraphrase I am not looking for a hand out or special treatment. I am willing to do what ever it takes to reach the top level. I can find work and save up. But mentally and passionately. I am at a dead end. I keep getting the maybe and soon promises from my mother and I am quite frankly fed up with it. These things will get me nowere that I want to be.

[Psylo]

Good luck

[Psylo]

With everything

[Blaine Stevens]

Thank you, Gator. I wish you the best of luck as well. Did you see my post in your thread? I hope that helps. Not an expert by any means. Just sorta figured it out by reading up but I hope your knees quit giving you trouble. The only time my knees have hurt is when I was trying to force a stretch.But now that I've been taking it a little slower they have only been getting better and better. If you can try and see about getting the Guiness of Flexibility by Bob Cooley. It helpt me by leaps and bounds and his words can likely sort out your problems then anything I myself wrote.

Not sure who else replied to your thread but I hope you get the answers your looking for. A lot of good people here. :]

[Andrew T]

I was born in Salem and moved to Indianapolis when I was 5 so I do miss the west coast. I've been back quite a few times and I love it. Oregon is a beautiful place and you do have a lot of really high level guys right next to you. Sonnen and Quarry are 2 bad ass dudes who you should probably try to learn from as well (if you haven't already) considering you are so close. The Eugene and Portland moons aren't too far either. You're almost equal distance from each one. I think Portland might be slightly closer. I would be itching to train at HQ too bro. Just curious why did you title this thread throwing myself to the wolves? Nobody is going to judge you or talk shit about you wanting to train with Eddie at HQ. I think it's awesome you are so driven to be successful. Keep training hard brother.

[Eddie Bravo]

I appreciate your love for 10p, I really do, but if you don't have a super solid plan, moving to LA will prolly be a nightmar. LA is not for someone looking for job or hoping to room with someone that you might meet out here. It's a vicious city that must be thoroughly prepared for. I actually have gotten quite a few of these emails this year, and I tell them all what telling you, if you don't have a super solid plan it will prolly be a nightmare for you, good luck!

[Kurzy]

Back in around 1997 or 8, I was heavy into wakeboarding. (Still do it, but I am not a fanatic anymore).

I was a member on a forum, and I made a call out like this. I was ready to pack up and drop everything, and move to Cali or Florida to pursue wakeboarding, in hopes to make a living at that lifestyle. I spent some time saving up some cash, and I spent some time networking.

I remember one guy named Travis lived in California. He was married, and had a couple young children, and a boat, and was into wakeboarding. He had a pop-up tent trailer in his laneway that he said I could use, and he had a brother in law that was into construction. He lined up a job for me, and had a bunch of stuff worked out. He talked it over with his wife, and she was game for letting me live in their laneway in the trailer.

I was just about to move to Cali, and then I met a girl. I liked her, and ended up staying, wasting a year and a half on her. I found out later on that she was a downtown whore, and after I dumped her people were like "Dude, she was a slut, you didn't know?" I was thinking "wtf didn't any of you retards tell me??". By the time that shit was over with, the free-ride I had arranged in California was no longer available due to Travis's life circumstances changing as well. So I stayed in Canada.

Moral of the story is that I was young and single and ready to throw myself to the wolves, and ended up NOT taking the chance in the end.

I am happy with the way things have turned out and wouldn't change anything (Other than maybe winning the lottery or something) but I am certainly not a professional wakeboarder living in California.

If you're young and without children, take the chance. As long as you know that
(A) You can depend on family if you really fuck up and need to come home, and
(B) You will not allow yourself to become hooked on street drugs and suck knobs for a living, then go for it.

You should be able to find some work out there. You will need to arrange some couches to surf on for a while, and that is the hard part. People are pretty busy with life, so you could have a hard time finding someone that is willing to let you invade their life and home as a non-paying guest while you get on your feet, but it never hurts to at least ask. I know I was all set up if I had have never met that douchebag I told you about.

So the two lessons to walk away with after readng this:
1) Go for it
2) If your friend is unknowingly dating a slut, tell him. That's what good friends do.

[Blaine Stevens]

Thank you guys for the replies. Eddie, you continue to live up to your reputation. I really do appreciate it. I suppose I am to used to running around Sherdog at times. I was worried I would get heavily bashed. I was sitting here thinking that by the time I have money saved up I would likely know a bit more about my situation as far as the people here are concerned. I still wanna eventually get down there and train. This not something I wanna miss out on in my toolset.

I understand that nothing is really set in stone but I wanted at least a foundation of a plan set up. Given what you said Eddie when it gets down to it. I will prob read up on the area quite a bit. Can't be any crazier then going down to Stockton to train though I may have opened my mouth to soon. I really appreciate the replies and the mind check. Given me a bit to think about.