struggling to survive

you guys seem so chill yet so focused...I'm a 38yr old male who started bjj the last week of dec.2010, so to say the least I'm a total newbie. I have to say I'm getting discouraged pretty quick...I'm having such a hard time catching on, if not for private$ from one of the black belts I would be totally defenseless...are all schools "cliquey" and without comprehensive curriculum?I feel like what I'm getting is a mixed bag of whatever the instructor saw on you tube that morning and whatever else he feels like. I really wanna' get this stuff, any pointers for the new dude?I don't want this shit to quit being fun...arigato

don't get discouraged. view every tap out as a learning experience and a step closer to getting your blue belt. focus on the fundamentals. no one walks into the gym being able to tap everybody out. it'll take time don't let your ego get you down.

I tell all the new guys that when you first start you suck and have no idea what to do, but you have to just keep showing up and then one day you realize that you are crushing the new guys, so you must have learned something. Then later, you are giving the experienced guys trouble.

It's all about mat time. I see new guys start almost every week, but most quit. Stick with it and you'll be rewarded.

That's the beauty and the curse of Jits - you jump in, feet first...sink, learn to float, breathe, a few strokes and finally after a while, swim.

Don't get discouraged, get motivated. The 10,000 hour rule applies...just enjoy yourself and understand you're going to have to unlearn as much as you learn. I'm 41 and 4 years in...feels like I started yesterday.

Stay strong.

I'm 42 yrs old in a few months and I'm still rolling with the strongest guys in my school. You just gotta stick with it, listen to your body, and take it upon yourself to learn. I don't know anything about your instructor, but your instructor should try to help you build a good foundation. If he can't help you out, maybe you should find someone who can. But also, Jiu Jitsu is very much a personal journey. Learn to feel your body when you roll, develop the intuition that will improve your positioning. Don't always roll with guys that will crush you. And don't give up. :)

i thot i could fight til my first jiu jitsu class, i was wrong. Im still not that good and a white belt but ive learned alot, im a slow learner, i watch videos over and over, it helps, dont quit, its too fun

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Originally Posted by jonas

you guys seem so chill yet so focused...I'm a 38yr old male who started bjj the last week of dec.2010, so to say the least I'm a total newbie. I have to say I'm getting discouraged pretty quick...I'm having such a hard time catching on, if not for private$ from one of the black belts I would be totally defenseless...are all schools "cliquey" and without comprehensive curriculum?I feel like what I'm getting is a mixed bag of whatever the instructor saw on you tube that morning and whatever else he feels like. I really wanna' get this stuff, any pointers for the new dude?I don't want this shit to quit being fun...arigato

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I've have trained at Tai-kai. Very Briefly!! They have excellent instructors! But yes, I thought the curriculum was all over the place. Making it very hard for a beginner to learn, and no not all schools teach this way. I left because of painful plantar fasciitis in both of my heels and I don't value the gi. Most of their training is in the gi. Don't get me wrong it's a excellent school with excellent instructors but I know what you mean about the curriculum. If your interested in seeing a school with a excellent curriculum...10th Planet Rochester. Go to their 10th planet rochester facebook page... training blog....they do a set curriculum...you would learn much faster there. I plan on training there(Rochester) HOPEFULLY SOON if my girl can find a J.O.B. I live in the Jordan-Elbridge area. I plan on going 2 nights a week so if interested in car pooling let me know. I'm sure your in a contract so when its up and if your interested you can contact me here.

I guess I was lucky when I found my school. We offer a fundamentals class and advanced jiu jitsu classes, so I have been taking both classes and helping out our assistant instructor as a grappling dummy for the kids class. that has been a huge help in my jits along with rolling with the upper levels, They saw that I had no clue what was going on so they would show me simple things like posturing and lock down to help me get up to speed with the other white belts. Just put in the mat time and take what you can out of each day, you'll be surprised how it will just click one day.

NO, not all schools are "cliquey", not all schools have jumbled bits and pieces for curriculum. In fact, these are pretty good indicators that you may want to go train else where.

A lot of places seem cliquey but you have to remember that time is slower in a gym. I trained at one larger gym for 4 months and only 2 people knew my name. It was a great gym and nobody was rude to me but when you are spending 10+ (if not your lifetime) in this martial art 4 months is barely a blip on anybodies' radar.

Just put in your time and the rewards of skills and friendship will follow. Unless you're some insane social outcast with no ability to relate to people in any intelligible manner then the skills and friendship will always follow. Judging by your post though, you don't seem that way so you'll probably be okay.

Sometimes i get frustrated then i realize that i've been rolling with people who are tremendously better than me and it's really helped me... I'm a noob but since i've been getting my ass kicked by a bunch of really talented and conditioned guys, when i roll with other noobs, I feel like i'm amazing. :-P
If you're discouraged because you think you're not making any progress because people are having their way with you in training, find an old friend who's not in training and convince them to roll with you :-D I promise you'll notice your progress then.

wow,thank you all for the advice! tai-kai has a bunch of talented guys Teaching & training there, but that makes it tough for me to get timing & what not down...as I am constantly struggling! So many of the white belts have a ton of wrestling experience so that can be misleading when picking a partner. I'm not gonna' quit but man this is bashing my confidence!I have to except bad nights & not whine on the forum...I have met some cool people at my school & the instructors are great with my kids...I'm gonna' stick it out, show respect, and be patient. thanks to all of you!

I have only been to class 5 or 6 times i think. I really feel like im struggling most the time too. I think most of us in class are fairly new too although i think i have the least experience of the group.
I still havent tapped anyone yet, but i did feel really good when i got someones back and locked in a body triangle for the first time, didnt get the choke, but it still felt really good.

Just takes time, but buying the books and paying for the technique videos on this site will help alot too.

I just started at Carlson Gracie down here, cause of my work schedule and lack of partners its the only time Im gonna get to train now. my first day the class was filled with blue belts so I didnt get a single tap, it was super discouraging but I did sweep and pass on a few of them and that more than enough made up for it. seeing their face as I swept and passed ( almost hit a gogo) and then having them give me tips just made me feel good and welcome. now it doesnt even bother me to tap, usually I smile right after I do. I dont know at what point tapping became a "w.e" for me but it will for you too! jus stick to it and in time it'll come.

I heard JoeyG tapped to the Wushu Pinky Hold.

http://blog.richardorlino.com/wp-con...02/panda3m.jpg

your school should have a beginner's class and a more advanced. Also shop around schools. My school takes an interest in each student to make sure you are learning safe and having fun.

Remember, Blue belt(1year)= beginner. White belt is novice. Don't be in a hurry to win. Just relax and learn step by step. You've got the rest of your life to enjoy it. If you can make it 6 months you can make it 6 years. At least 2/3 of those who try give up because they want to "kick ass" like a macho idiot. I laugh and enjoy every minute. It should be fun. I avoid assholes who are unfriendly and only want to fight.

Download the following beginner guide. It's a great introduction and will ease your pain. http://www.scribd.com/mobile/documents/8940871

"Brazilian jiu-jitsu starts making sense and sparring becomes fun
when you have a couple of offensive and a couple of defensive
options from each of the 6 major positions."

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Originally Posted by kiko

i heard joeyg tapped to the wushu pinky hold.

http://blog.richardorlino.com/wp-con...02/panda3m.jpg

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not the wushu pinky hold!

6 months seems around the time people start to feel like they're getting the hang of things. depends how many days a week you are going. Having someone to drill techniques and roll with outside of class is a huge boost. Maybe ask around and see if there are a couple guys that get together outside of class and just do whatever you think you need to or want to work on, or start a group yourself. Puzzle matts are cheap. Repetitions and extra rolling time will help your comfort level and are super important early on. You can learn a lot when grappling only 10 to 15 % and the other person isnt trying to rip your head off.Also defending and escaping knowledge helps. Soon you should be able to understand instructional videos a lot better. Check out some other schools. Not all gyms are filled with giant ego douche bags that act like a pack of snobby animals or something

Ok...I have and do have the same feelings you do. There are 2 types of schools: Those that have a true beginners curriculumn and those that do the standard cardio, show you a move...you drill it...show you another move...you drill it and then you roll.

Now, my problem with the 2nd one is that when you're older....me I'm 40...and out of shape...I'm 300 lbs. This gets VERY discouraging. You can't do a lot of the cardio without almost throwing up, you can't drill really well because of flexibility issues or not getting it because you are learning slower than the "kids" in your class. The oldest kid in my class is 24, another guy is 21 and the rest are teenagers. This is a new location...we're all white belts.

I would suggest that you might want to look at a school that has a beginner class. I am considering this myself. I know that at most gracie schools they drill non-stop. They drill, drill, drill, drill, drill until you get the techniques you are learning and you really avoid the drowing feeling, from what I see. I also suggest you talk to your coach after class and voice your concerns.

It's tough for us older guys to get in the mix...it really is. Many people tell us to stick it out but it's tough with wife, kids a job and being kind of out of the age bracket of the majority of the class. I mean I got kids older than the guys I am rolling with. I may take some private lessons or something to get myself caught up.

Now, if you stay where you're at...I would say that you want to drill as much as possible and go to open mats. The more you roll the better you get and if you get tapped just roll more. Also...don't "cock fight" on your knees, ask if you can work on your guard or top game. Eddie is right about that being a waste of time. What's really cool is if you are still spazzing the better guys will want to roll with you to work on their control techniques. This got me comfortable with the "closed space" of BJJ. I also drill against a wall and roll around in that space. I found myself getting real claustraphobic when I first got rolled up.

Sometimes you really are drowning and have to find the right spot for you. I take it you're not brazillian, so it's not a criminal offense to jump schools or find an environment that's more supportive for you in particular. I know I am considering going to my schools other location because it has more older guys there. I mean I'm old as my coach so me and him talking like homies and the kids are tripping. Don't get me wrong...my guys are great...but it still feels awkward.

Oh and for God's SAKE take it ez...pain management is VERY important. Every joint I had hurt...dang. Don't over do it. Oh and if you are a fatty like me...roll no more than 70% on your dudes. Other whites ain't used to the size difference...you don't want to accidentally hurt them or have them hurt you.

I felt the exact way you did. Try training with people mire your skill. Also I know im gonna get alot more hate, but.... do bjj as well, for me it makes it alot more fun. And gives you alot more ways too pull off subs, which boosts your confidence, when your subbing belts higher.

I used to go up to the bored guys with the prettiest belts and ask them to roll. Then, after I was tapped out I would ask them to show me how things fell apart.

This was actually how I discovered the lock down. Some older 9 to 5, career dad, purple belt was just chilling in the wings and I asked him to roll. He (I realize now) pulled right to half guard where he proceeded to grapevine my leg and lock me down. I remember a crushing pain to my leg right before I got swept and then proceeded to get smashed for several minutes until he tapped me out. Immediately I asked what happened and I was introduced to the lockdown.

It's sort of like Mega-Man. Mega Man would get the super powers of any level Boss that he beat. If he beat Cutman, then he got a free pair of sheers and then he was the guy that was cutting fuckers up. If you stow away your competitive ego, JiuJitsu can be like that, only you gain new skills by losing. How cool is that? Somebody owns you with a move, you ask them to show it to you, and a few minutes later you have the move. Obviously it's not as good as theirs but who cares, you have the move now.

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Originally Posted by AJ Camacho

I used to go up to the bored guys with the prettiest belts and ask them to roll. Then, after I was tapped out I would ask them to show me how things fell apart.

This was actually how I discovered the lock down. Some older 9 to 5, career dad, purple belt was just chilling in the wings and I asked him to roll. He (I realize now) pulled right to half guard where he proceeded to grapevine my leg and lock me down. I remember a crushing pain to my leg right before I got swept and then proceeded to get smashed for several minutes until he tapped me out. Immediately I asked what happened and I was introduced to the lockdown.

It's sort of like Mega-Man. Mega Man would get the super powers of any level Boss that he beat. If he beat Cutman, then he got a free pair of sheers and then he was the guy that was cutting fuckers up. If you stow away your competitive ego, JiuJitsu can be like that, only you gain new skills by losing. How cool is that? Somebody owns you with a move, you ask them to show it to you, and a few minutes later you have the move. Obviously it's not as good as theirs but who cares, you have the move now.

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AJ, that has to be one of the most solid posts I've ever seen. Putting away the ego, asking your partner for the roll exactly how he set the move up on you, and asking him to teach it to you is what martial arts is all about in my opinion. I also love, Love, LOVE the Mega-Man comparison on skill acquisition.

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Originally Posted by rock d

Download the following beginner guide. It's a great introduction and will ease your pain. http://www.scribd.com/mobile/documents/8940871

"Brazilian jiu-jitsu starts making sense and sparring becomes fun
when you have a couple of offensive and a couple of defensive
options from each of the 6 major positions."

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thanks for that link !