struggling to survive

[prowess]

Sometimes i get frustrated then i realize that i've been rolling with people who are tremendously better than me and it's really helped me... I'm a noob but since i've been getting my ass kicked by a bunch of really talented and conditioned guys, when i roll with other noobs, I feel like i'm amazing. :-P
If you're discouraged because you think you're not making any progress because people are having their way with you in training, find an old friend who's not in training and convince them to roll with you :-D I promise you'll notice your progress then.

[jonas]

wow,thank you all for the advice! tai-kai has a bunch of talented guys Teaching & training there, but that makes it tough for me to get timing & what not down...as I am constantly struggling! So many of the white belts have a ton of wrestling experience so that can be misleading when picking a partner. I'm not gonna' quit but man this is bashing my confidence!I have to except bad nights & not whine on the forum...I have met some cool people at my school & the instructors are great with my kids...I'm gonna' stick it out, show respect, and be patient. thanks to all of you!

[Kent Bartley]

I have only been to class 5 or 6 times i think. I really feel like im struggling most the time too. I think most of us in class are fairly new too although i think i have the least experience of the group.
I still havent tapped anyone yet, but i did feel really good when i got someones back and locked in a body triangle for the first time, didnt get the choke, but it still felt really good.

Just takes time, but buying the books and paying for the technique videos on this site will help alot too.

[Joey Guzman]

I just started at Carlson Gracie down here, cause of my work schedule and lack of partners its the only time Im gonna get to train now. my first day the class was filled with blue belts so I didnt get a single tap, it was super discouraging but I did sweep and pass on a few of them and that more than enough made up for it. seeing their face as I swept and passed ( almost hit a gogo) and then having them give me tips just made me feel good and welcome. now it doesnt even bother me to tap, usually I smile right after I do. I dont know at what point tapping became a "w.e" for me but it will for you too! jus stick to it and in time it'll come.

[Enrique "Kiko"]

I heard JoeyG tapped to the Wushu Pinky Hold.

[rock d]

your school should have a beginner's class and a more advanced. Also shop around schools. My school takes an interest in each student to make sure you are learning safe and having fun.

Remember, Blue belt(1year)= beginner. White belt is novice. Don't be in a hurry to win. Just relax and learn step by step. You've got the rest of your life to enjoy it. If you can make it 6 months you can make it 6 years. At least 2/3 of those who try give up because they want to "kick ass" like a macho idiot. I laugh and enjoy every minute. It should be fun. I avoid assholes who are unfriendly and only want to fight.

Download the following beginner guide. It's a great introduction and will ease your pain. http://www.scribd.com/mobile/documents/8940871

"Brazilian jiu-jitsu starts making sense and sparring becomes fun
when you have a couple of offensive and a couple of defensive
options from each of the 6 major positions."

[Joey Guzman]

i heard joeyg tapped to the wushu pinky hold.

not the wushu pinky hold!

[Sean Marshall]

6 months seems around the time people start to feel like they're getting the hang of things. depends how many days a week you are going. Having someone to drill techniques and roll with outside of class is a huge boost. Maybe ask around and see if there are a couple guys that get together outside of class and just do whatever you think you need to or want to work on, or start a group yourself. Puzzle matts are cheap. Repetitions and extra rolling time will help your comfort level and are super important early on. You can learn a lot when grappling only 10 to 15 % and the other person isnt trying to rip your head off.Also defending and escaping knowledge helps. Soon you should be able to understand instructional videos a lot better. Check out some other schools. Not all gyms are filled with giant ego douche bags that act like a pack of snobby animals or something

[James Davis]

Ok...I have and do have the same feelings you do. There are 2 types of schools: Those that have a true beginners curriculumn and those that do the standard cardio, show you a move...you drill it...show you another move...you drill it and then you roll.

Now, my problem with the 2nd one is that when you're older....me I'm 40...and out of shape...I'm 300 lbs. This gets VERY discouraging. You can't do a lot of the cardio without almost throwing up, you can't drill really well because of flexibility issues or not getting it because you are learning slower than the "kids" in your class. The oldest kid in my class is 24, another guy is 21 and the rest are teenagers. This is a new location...we're all white belts.

I would suggest that you might want to look at a school that has a beginner class. I am considering this myself. I know that at most gracie schools they drill non-stop. They drill, drill, drill, drill, drill until you get the techniques you are learning and you really avoid the drowing feeling, from what I see. I also suggest you talk to your coach after class and voice your concerns.

It's tough for us older guys to get in the mix...it really is. Many people tell us to stick it out but it's tough with wife, kids a job and being kind of out of the age bracket of the majority of the class. I mean I got kids older than the guys I am rolling with. I may take some private lessons or something to get myself caught up.

Now, if you stay where you're at...I would say that you want to drill as much as possible and go to open mats. The more you roll the better you get and if you get tapped just roll more. Also...don't "cock fight" on your knees, ask if you can work on your guard or top game. Eddie is right about that being a waste of time. What's really cool is if you are still spazzing the better guys will want to roll with you to work on their control techniques. This got me comfortable with the "closed space" of BJJ. I also drill against a wall and roll around in that space. I found myself getting real claustraphobic when I first got rolled up.

Sometimes you really are drowning and have to find the right spot for you. I take it you're not brazillian, so it's not a criminal offense to jump schools or find an environment that's more supportive for you in particular. I know I am considering going to my schools other location because it has more older guys there. I mean I'm old as my coach so me and him talking like homies and the kids are tripping. Don't get me wrong...my guys are great...but it still feels awkward.

Oh and for God's SAKE take it ez...pain management is VERY important. Every joint I had hurt...dang. Don't over do it. Oh and if you are a fatty like me...roll no more than 70% on your dudes. Other whites ain't used to the size difference...you don't want to accidentally hurt them or have them hurt you.

[Corky]

I felt the exact way you did. Try training with people mire your skill. Also I know im gonna get alot more hate, but.... do bjj as well, for me it makes it alot more fun. And gives you alot more ways too pull off subs, which boosts your confidence, when your subbing belts higher.