Two months is absolutely no time at all after such a loss. I lost my Mam almost 2 years ago, and to be honest, it's only in the last few weeks that my perspective on her death has changed and I feel like some colour is coming back into my life. As far as bjj is concerned I had no desire to train, hell I didn't want to live after her death, and the only choke I have tried in the last 2 years, resulted in my girlfriend cutting me down from the lead round my neck after I'd blacked out after hanging myself - at least I didn't tap. I went from thinking about bjj 24/7 to not caring less about the sport after my Mam died.
Anyway, that change in perspective has come from seeing how my insignificant life fits into the bigger picture. I now realize that my Mam is still here, she's here because the love that she instilled in her family and the way she showed us how to fight until you simply cannot fight anymore, will always be alive while her children and grandchildren are alive. It's now time for my sister and me to fill the void left by my Mam's death and look after our loved ones the way that she loved us and taught us to love. I was lucky to have her in my life until I was 45, as my Mam was 5 when she lost her Mother.
I think the bjj bug has bit again tonight as I was play wrestling with my 3 year old grandaughter and I couldn't escape her side control, so I thought it was time to maybe get studying again... checked out the 10P site and the first thing I saw was this post.
Just give yourself time man and expect your mind and moods to be all over the place, you'll have good days, bad days and days when you wonder if life will ever feel right again. Trust me, it will eventually, and the things that used to interest you and give you joy, will again. Wishing you all the best and truly sorry for your loss.
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