It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

[Scott Elkin]

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I'm about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/10/20nissan.html

[Taylor Culbertson]

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I'm about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/10/20nissan.html

Either you are married or your pimp game is strong. There is no in between on this.

[Jason Eisner]

Lol