Fuck me, food poisoning

[Kurzy]

I've been militantly paleo for a couple months now, at least 95% anyways. Last night the in laws had us over for dinner: Lasagna. I gorged and ate 3 pieces and then 2 pieces of cake.

For the last 4 hours I have been feeling extremely fatigued, cold, shivering, goosebumps, weak, tired, etc. I thought "Holy crap, I'm never eating pasta again!".

Then the trips to the bathroom started. I have shit liquid for 5 trips now. But (This is the gross part) it has nothing to do with the lasagna. I ate a tin can of Salmon and that is ALL I could smell, every time I went to the bathroom. My body is rejecting it and forcing it through my system asap without even digesting it. Ever take a crap and smell rotten salmon before?
Gross.

Anyways, just thought I would brighten up your day. My boss gave me permission to leave work early but I don't want to be away from the facilities!! lol. Lame.

[derrick ikwueme]

damn you a nasty mutha fucker, in fact human shit is fucking horrific. and salmon in a can lol, you cheap ass hole go buy your salmon fresh from a fish market lol. if youd eat salmon in a can then damn, spam's right up your ally along with mystery meat lol. your body must be a biological sewer. and lord forbit that you fart in the middle of rolling lol, you might have a mud slide on the mat.

[La'akea Sanborn]

I personally can't stand spam, but in Hawaii families eat it daily. My mom and gf make it for my son on the reg and it drives me nuts.

Hope the shu shitzu has passed on...

[Kurzy]

It's wild Pacific salmon that I keep in storage for at work. It's not like it's processed spam! lol. I keep herrings and sardenes at my desk too.

The cafeteria food here is all starchy crap, so I bring a salad every day and eat some for of protein every day in animal meat. The cans are here as back up/emergency food if I forget to pack a lunch or whatever.

[derrick ikwueme]

i was making indian curry chicken marsala for a while and i had thease spicy shits on the regular.

[Ryan Brick]

The last time I had food poisoning I combated it with incredibly large amounts of pot, I had 3 trips to the bathroom and then just constantly felt like I was going to be sick again.

[David Rosado]

thread title sounds like some weird fetish porn title.

Either way, good luck. Stick to dry foods (toast, unsweetened cereal....even though you're paleo) and/or easy to digest stuff. Clear liquids. Stay hydrated. Apple juice I heard helps your crap solidify. My doctor recommended it. I've gotten food poisoning more times than I'm willing to admit, so yeah. No milk. No beef. I think egg whites were cool if I remember correctly.

And again, stay hydrated! Good luck my man. Stay away from greasy foods.

[Kurzy]

Shoot, I read this AFTER I just finished shoving about 12 ounces of roast venison in my mouth.
I have been pretty good about getting lots of water. Not making it into work today.

[Kurzy]

Also thanks for the apple juice tip.

[Kurzy]

Well that was worse than I thought. The next day (Yesterday) was a write-off. I was on the couch from morning till night, fever, sweating, shitting liquid all day. Full body ache. Totally brutal. I missed work and missed Jiu Jitsu. Still not 100% either. My guts are still bubbling a little, but things are definitely returning to normal.

I hate food poisoning. I have eaten probably a thousand tins of fish and never gotten food poisoning from it before, and now I am all paranoid about it.