what do you mean "trying to figure out", you do real randori where you learn aikido? You should know exactly how you got there, the uki/tori relationship in aikido is (typically 99.999%) all kata no randori.
Use use atemi as well? Is this Tomiki linage? Every time I've seen people claim atemi in aikido its really more just irimi with a planned grazing blow or a love tap(that only works in pretend time) used to manipulate tori when uki has weak skills.
There are cool philosophy and principles in aikido, thats why I've spent so much time studying it but when you decide to make a "martial art" non-competitive and non-violent you also decided that you aren't going to be able to filter the bullshit from the legit.
IMO aikido is only good for handling very inebriated family members, in other words people who cant fight back with any skill and that you dont wish to hurt.
full disclosure, I enjoy learning aikido and trolling aikidōka people on youtube, equally. Anyone who wants to do some full contact sparring against me using aikido is welcome to come give it a try, Redwood FC, Eureka, Ca. I wont be a dick about it if you come.