Getting back training after a loss

[Ayrin]

My last fight was May 10th, I was fighting a guy who I could have and should have beaten but ended up losing. I won't get into the details but after that I kind of mentally broke and wanted nothing to do with jiu-jitsu or MMA or martial arts in general. I went from being a stud ameture fighter and smashing in training to being a shitty pro fighter with an 0-2-0 record. My first loss I make no excuses the guy was simply a better fighter and it showed, but I know for a fact I could have beaten the guy I fought in my second fight I just for some reason can't perform at a professional level. I have been avoiding the gym since then and haven't talked to any of my coaches or trainers or anything. I'm going back to the gym to train starting monday but there is some anxiety there because I feel like I let everyone who put time into me down. Anyone else have an experience like this or have any advice?

[Phill Schwartz]

Ayrin,

I will never be a great MMA fighter but I have fought in the cage and I have won and lost. In my experience dealing with losses is always tough, especially when it seems to challenge something we believe/know we are good at. The biggest thing you can do for yourself is to take a broader perspective to your experiences. You may have lost two fights, but those defeats have not made you a failure. You have not failed unless you give up and let those setbacks beat you. Hopefully you have learned valuable lessons from your experience that you can take forward to make you a stronger fighter in the future.

I would recommend listening to the interview Chael did on the Joe Rogan podcast. He really gets into talking about sports mentality and he admits that he needed to seek the help of a professional sports psychologist in order to be able to perform at the level he expected of himself. However you go forward, wins and losses must be motivational lessons you use to push yourself to higher goals. If you live and die with every win and loss it will be a hard road.

[Phill Schwartz]

Starts around 1:26:00

[Ayrin]

Chael is awesome, have you read his book?

[ScottRay]

Losing is something that is guaranteed to happen.. If you keep fighting, chances are you'll lose again one day. Wins and losses isn't what makes a great fighter. A great fighter is defined by how he handles the defeat...and the victory

[Dpoland]

If you don't lose sometimes, how do you know your learning/ evolving as a fighter?

[Riku Calderón]

Sometimes you win. Sometimes you learn!

Im 1-3-1 now with 3 losses in a row.

And im way better. Mental part is my weakness. I spar in the cage when i shoud go harder. We learn bro! I promise!

[Tori Applegate]

We have a fighter in our gym. He lost 5 fights in a row. He took a year off, came to Jiu Jitsu and striking class 4 days a week. He has to get up for work at 4am and Jiu Jitsu ends at 9. He improved so much by just putting the work in, it's insane. He just got his blue belt and won his last MMA fight. He has been the best example I've seen in the past 2 1/2 years of being at an Mma gym and he's not even pro yet.

So you're a pro and you've lost your first two fights. SO WHAT!!! Get your head on, you're not trying to prove anything to anyone but yourself so don't beat yourself before you get back in there. Go train, get your confidence back. Train everything..hard. Sometimes after a major loss when you were so close, that's when you learn the most and realize you can take your intensity, your determination, and learning powers up full blast. That happened to me, with Jiu Jitsu..not MMA, but I'm around it every day. I get it. Get in class, be an awesome student. Be humble and learn. You have to be able to win the battle against yourself on your worst day.

[Amber Kamischke]

I've been told many times, you don't lose, you learn. I am discouraged after any jiu jitsu tournament loss, especially when it was my own mistake that lost it for me.

Sometimes you just need a break to reevaluate things. I would go in and tell your coaches that you've taken time to think and really want to step up your game. They should support you and help you succeed for the next one. It may take time for them to see you are still serious but I'm sure if you put in the time and effort, so will they.

[John Mejia]

Losing is a part of life, And a part of Jiu Jitsu. When I lose, its heartbreaking, I'm a mess, I'm angry, I'm Sad, I'm confused, just about every emotion that you can think of that may effect someone negatively I am. i'll be honest, I'm not someone who takes losing easily, and I definitely don't lose gracefully. I'm still learning in that aspect, but whenever I lose, it gives me the fire to keep on going harder and push myself every day to be the best. Ronda Rousey said this the other night on the ultimate fighter and it definitely stood out as something I will never forget. "You're not training to be the best in the world. You're training to be the best in the world on your worst day." Just get back on the horse and remember to keep on keepin on.

Good Luck Brother