I'd say douche moves are poking eyes, biting, pulling ears, etc. The other moves like knee to face, fist to face, are douchey at first, only because you don't know why your opponent is doing that to you. Douche moves should only happen to you once or a few times, but you should then learn to avoid getting caught in that situation.
When I rolled with X, he gripped the crud out of my neck as if I took his ticket to ADCC China. I thought maybe this was a douche move because no one ever closed a grip on my neck, but then I thought to myself, "well there's a first. I'll never get caught in that again!"
In the end, the more douche moves you get caught with, the better your defenses will be in the future. And usually, you'll get caught in a douche move because the regular subs weren't working and time is running out.
Oh one of the first douche moves I got caught in was a slam when I was cinching the triangle. I learned to hook the leg, thereby making my defense stronger, but my attack more deadly.
Hope that helps,
Rick