Jiujitsu = life. Sometimes in jiujitsu you're going to get caught. Multiple times per night if you're still in the beginning stages. But when we are forced to tap, we don't get up and leave. We keep going.. Because we understand that being beaten/humbled is what it takes to grow and get better.
Bill, as someone who has spent the first 20 years of my life as a piece of crap.. Please hear me out. Jiujitsu and life are one in the same. The only way to better yourself, is to admit you made a mistake and then learn from it by consciously choosing to avoid the same mistake again until it's muscle reflex. In this case, you were rolling and got caught. It's part of being human. The shame isn't in admitting you were wrong, the shame was in the action. Admitting you were wrong is the first sign of growth and improvement. You only get one life.. Might as well learn from the inevitable mistakes as quickly as possible so you aren't forced to make them again later down the road. But whether you choose to lay it all out there for the ones you've lied to, or choose to remain holding onto the belief you've done nothing dishonest. Just know I love you as a human and I'm pulling or you. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't.