I'm a black belt in...

[DonDuckel]

Definitley a black belt in procrastination and layzines !

[K Madden]

i have the most important black belt.

Hot Air Balloon Folder, Black Belt.

the best part- ive never even touched one.

I'm also glad to see that Day-Man is here. I feel much safer. AaaaHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!

[frank-theman-james]

Black Belt in Display and Exhibit design : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOvMcAwZz2c

Black Belt in "Home Dojo" design : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMPK7or86Es

4th Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1h_S6NmbQ2A

And as of 2 weeks ago... a Black Belt in Judo!! : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpqAqqLQgL0

and a black belt in wall tagging... damn shit was awsome, you must have had a misspent youth... lol congrats on the recent blackbelt in judo

[MrSqueeze]

I am a black belt in..
making poopy
black people
types of poop

[Brandon Palmer]

Sorry McCaghren/Helton, i avoided this thread for quite a while because i thought it might suck, boy was i wrong! LOL OMG WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

I'm a blackbelt in all of the following disciplines:

- proper spelling and grammar
- spraypainting poorly drawn dicks on cars
- supercontinent Pangea blogging
- wishing that the relationship in Don Henley's "Boys of Summer" had at least lasted til the next summer. They hardly got to know each other.
- giving friends silica gel and telling them it's salt for their delicious meal
- realizing, and then promptly ignoring, the fact that my ability to shit my pants and get away with it ended sometime around 1981
- staying angry at the conservative Christian right for their inability to explain dinosaurs to my satisfaction
- waking up early to drain the embalming fluid and refill my veins with the blue ink and hotdog water
- pasting the pubes of others on my face to create a makeshift beardling
- sleeping in my neighbor's oven tightly grasping an urn of Charles Bronson's ashes
- listening to 35 year old retarded men bang pots and pans together and stripe their dicks with rulers
- collecting holocaust booties (as in baby shoes)
- dressing like a bean sprout and cutting down trees with an electric razor
- holding sit-ins at Wal-Mart on the diarrhea aisle

and of course...

- all manner of cash for gold schemes.

I may have forgotten some. Forgive me if so.

[bobby rivers]

So are you done with Charles Bronson? Cause I got the oven preheated

[Brandon Palmer]

He's all yours Bobby, make me proud!

[James Davis]

being so merciful that I am often taken advantage of by people
eating...
allowing co-dependent relationships with everyone
losing my temper and then feeling really guilty about it

[Danny Stolfi]

I'm a black belt in the art of Poke'mon training under Professor Oak. I've trained numerous poke'mon to world titles in the Red, Blue and Yellow versions. I am currently retired, but at the time my strategies were state of the art.

[bobby rivers]

Yeah, now that i think about it, I have developed a unique set of skills. Life skills that might be shunned by the civilized, but have become necessary to perform at a high level to ensure my survival.

- Jumping out the window when the hubby comes home early. What floor I am on is irrelevant. 1rst floor is purple tops.
- Busting a U-y and hauling ass through neighborhoods then turning in random driveways turning off the engine and waiting 20 minutes when i drive up on a roadblock.
-Convincing the bank teller its their fault for letting me overdraft my account. Again.
-Thinking of Jessica Alba when she's just not doing it for me.
-Not pulling the trigger. One day at a time.
-I can drain a mean cauli ear.
-Crying during movies. Way too much to be considered a man.
-Looking up and to the left when talking to my boss
-Falling off the wagon. (start running before you land)
-Laughing at the most inappropriate moments.
-Thinking of my grandparents 69ing so as not to catch an erection when im in my boys triangle.
-Relocating my own phalanges.
-Getting jumped and kicked out of one club, only to fist pump my way into another and repeat.

I'll spare the rest... for now.