Karo Parisyan is ready to turn the page.
With the last chapter of his life and his career behind him, the 28-year-old who overcame a highly publicized battle with painkiller abuse and anxiety is hoping that the headlines about his personal and professional struggles the past three years will eventually become footnotes in his life story rather than the main subject.
“When I put my life story out about all of the sh*t I’ve been through and everything that’s happened to me, even my parents will be like, ‘Oh my God,’ when they read it. They don’t even know the half of it.”
Page one of the new chapter of Parisyan’s story starts Thursday night in London, Ontario when he squares off with highly regarded Canadian welterweight Ryan Ford at MMA Live 1 and he says the main difference this time around is that he’s writing the story for himself and not for others like he’s been doing his whole life.
“I’ve been through hell and I’m still on the way back home. I hope people can understand and not judge me for the mistakes I made. I’m doing this for myself. I’m tired of worrying about this person or that person. My family always has my back, but I need to look after myself. I want to get out there and do this for me so I can feel good about myself again. I used to think a lot about what everybody thought about me and now I don’t care. I’ve been training since I was eight years old and competing as long as I can remember and I got burnt out,” Parisyan recalls. “I let the pressure get to me. I had the pressure of representing my friends, my family, Armenians, judo etc…etc. What I realize now is that except your age, what goes up must come down, so you need to not let every little thing get to you because that’s when the pressure will eat at you until you break.”
Parisyan now believes that it was that pressure, coupled with the drugs that amplified and maybe even caused the anxiety, which he now says is under control.
As the sole financial support for several of his family members, if he didn’t perform and get paid, it didn’t just affect him, it affected everyone he cared about. When he was suspended and fined $32,000 for testing positive for painkillers following his UFC 94 win over Dong Hyun Kim, the financial hit he took only added to the pressure.
“I only made $6000 for my last fight after I paid the commission for my outstanding fine. That’s not enough money to support myself, let alone my family. It baffled me how I got a $32,000 fine and nine-month suspension when some of these guys popped for using steroids got six months and $12,000, but I did my time and I paid for my crime. Let’s move on,” he says. “I didn’t make the conscious decision to get anxiety or to become reliant on painkillers. It happened and I got through it and I’m working to get back to where I used to be and that’s all I can do.”
The toughest lesson Parisyan says he learned from this personal struggle was that many of the people close to him, whom he believed would be part of his support system through thick and through thin, when push came to shove weren’t who he thought they were.
“I screwed up and I have nobody to blame but myself. Sure I could blame a lot of people for what happened, but I’m not going to because I learned a lot through all of this. Nobody gave me a hand when I needed it the most. If you can’t help me up, fine, but don’t kick me down more than I already am. There are people who helped me out and they know who they are and I love them to death, but most of the people who I called my friends and family who were all around me when I was doing well, as soon as I fell, they were nowhere to be found,” Parisyan points out. “Nobody gave a sh*t, nobody wanted to give a sh*t, nobody called, nobody visited, and nobody said anything. For the record, f*ck all of them. They know who they are, from friends to cousins to certain family members, f*ck them – all of them.”
Although it was tough to come to grips with, Parisyan says that looking back on the situation, that moment of clarity when he realized that the people he surrounded himself with weren’t in it for the long haul with him was the main impetus for him getting started on the road to recovery.
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With the last chapter of his life and his career behind him, the 28-year-old who overcame a highly publicized battle with painkiller abuse and anxiety is hoping that the headlines about his personal and professional struggles the past three years will eventually become footnotes in his life story rather than the main subject.
“When I put my life story out about all of the sh*t I’ve been through and everything that’s happened to me, even my parents will be like, ‘Oh my God,’ when they read it. They don’t even know the half of it.”
Page one of the new chapter of Parisyan’s story starts Thursday night in London, Ontario when he squares off with highly regarded Canadian welterweight Ryan Ford at MMA Live 1 and he says the main difference this time around is that he’s writing the story for himself and not for others like he’s been doing his whole life.
“I’ve been through hell and I’m still on the way back home. I hope people can understand and not judge me for the mistakes I made. I’m doing this for myself. I’m tired of worrying about this person or that person. My family always has my back, but I need to look after myself. I want to get out there and do this for me so I can feel good about myself again. I used to think a lot about what everybody thought about me and now I don’t care. I’ve been training since I was eight years old and competing as long as I can remember and I got burnt out,” Parisyan recalls. “I let the pressure get to me. I had the pressure of representing my friends, my family, Armenians, judo etc…etc. What I realize now is that except your age, what goes up must come down, so you need to not let every little thing get to you because that’s when the pressure will eat at you until you break.”
Parisyan now believes that it was that pressure, coupled with the drugs that amplified and maybe even caused the anxiety, which he now says is under control.
As the sole financial support for several of his family members, if he didn’t perform and get paid, it didn’t just affect him, it affected everyone he cared about. When he was suspended and fined $32,000 for testing positive for painkillers following his UFC 94 win over Dong Hyun Kim, the financial hit he took only added to the pressure.
“I only made $6000 for my last fight after I paid the commission for my outstanding fine. That’s not enough money to support myself, let alone my family. It baffled me how I got a $32,000 fine and nine-month suspension when some of these guys popped for using steroids got six months and $12,000, but I did my time and I paid for my crime. Let’s move on,” he says. “I didn’t make the conscious decision to get anxiety or to become reliant on painkillers. It happened and I got through it and I’m working to get back to where I used to be and that’s all I can do.”
The toughest lesson Parisyan says he learned from this personal struggle was that many of the people close to him, whom he believed would be part of his support system through thick and through thin, when push came to shove weren’t who he thought they were.
“I screwed up and I have nobody to blame but myself. Sure I could blame a lot of people for what happened, but I’m not going to because I learned a lot through all of this. Nobody gave me a hand when I needed it the most. If you can’t help me up, fine, but don’t kick me down more than I already am. There are people who helped me out and they know who they are and I love them to death, but most of the people who I called my friends and family who were all around me when I was doing well, as soon as I fell, they were nowhere to be found,” Parisyan points out. “Nobody gave a sh*t, nobody wanted to give a sh*t, nobody called, nobody visited, and nobody said anything. For the record, f*ck all of them. They know who they are, from friends to cousins to certain family members, f*ck them – all of them.”
Although it was tough to come to grips with, Parisyan says that looking back on the situation, that moment of clarity when he realized that the people he surrounded himself with weren’t in it for the long haul with him was the main impetus for him getting started on the road to recovery.
for the rest
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