In Gi grappling, your collar attacks threaten and setup your mount attacks. They defend, they open up, you submit. In no gi, it's no different. Your cross face (there's a trick to it) is your collar threat. Their reaction opens them up. And I know a lot of people think that cross faces are a douche move but I learned this mentality from a Gracie school. I don't know how mount riding got so soft, but smash the face and your submission will follow.
The douche move is just to grind the cross face for the sake of itself. It's totally fine to use pain to force an opening in order to exploit the opening. Just don't become a sadist and sit on the cross face.
The douche move is just to grind the cross face for the sake of itself. It's totally fine to use pain to force an opening in order to exploit the opening. Just don't become a sadist and sit on the cross face.