Best drinking stories

[Cody Kietzman]

Best drinking stories thread GO!

[Taylor Culbertson]

*waits for Don*

[Jay Stratton]

I drank myself sober one year at OktoberFest, but I'm not sure if that's really something to brag about, cause that hangover sucked....

[Cody Kietzman]

I drank myself sober one year at OktoberFest, but I'm not sure if that's really something to brag about, cause that hangover sucked....

Worst hangover of my life was in Munich...

[AJ Camacho]

One evening in Inglewood I drank a bottle of 151. I was bored and shit faced so I tried to call up my buddy Paul at his dorm room. The fact that he had gone back home for the week had totally escaped by inebriated brain and his roommate answered.

His roommate was verbally short, dismissive, and overall rude as if my call was sheer annoyance. So, being the drunk annoyance that I was I called him back. I simply told him that there was no need to be rude. If Paul was gone, he would just have to tell me and that would be the end of the call but now he was rude and I was wondering what his issue was. At this point he informed me that his issue was with his dumb roommates dumb friends calling him at odd hours of the night to find out where his roommate was.

I remember losing it and going off on a tirade about how old he was, because he was too young to answer the phone like a crabby old man who needed an early nap. Again, I reiterated that all had to say was to ask that I leave him alone and it would be the end of it, but the dude always had to put a verbal insult towards me or Paul rather than just asking me to shut up.

He then informed me that he would kick my ass on site, at which point I asked for his room number and told him that I would be there post haste to kick his ass. Being drunk, I totally didn't realize how fucking far away I was from the college campus, shit seems closer in a car. Hammered on rum, I walked over 10 miles to make it to campus only to forget the douche bags dorm number.

Failed and defeated I wandered around campus asking for the where abouts of Paul's room. I was tired, sloppy, and sore... so I just walked over to a bush and fell into it planning to stay there for the night. I don't know if you've ever fallen into a bush before but sometimes the central root of the plant can spear you when you fall on it. I got lucky, it was all soft foliage. Then I heard a voice calling my name.

I looked up and my co-worker at school, Nate, was staring over me asking me what the hell I was doing. I asked him about Paul's room but he had no idea what was going on. He offered a spot in his roommate's bed (he was gone for the week) and I took him up on it. Unfortunately though, everybody had forgotten their pass cards for the dormitory. Bored, drunk and outside.. I began playing bowling with my body... running into random objects just for the sheer amusement of the cute girls standing around outside. Security showed up, asked me stop, and then let us in.

While heading up to the room, we ran into a buddy of mine, named Aaron. Aaron was fixated on rich douche bags that parked on the pedestrian walkway between the two dorms. Coincidently, Aaron hat a paintball gun ready to go, he wanted to unload on the walkway, plastering the truck with a glossy watery coat of paint. So we snuck up to the roof and waited... we waited for the guy who owned the truck to approach it. Then, Aaron popped up from cover and just unloaded that fucking thing onto that truck... thuck thuck thuck thuck thuck thuck.... girls were screaming, douche bags were hitting the floor "what the fuck?".

We scampered like cowards back into the dorm, ditching the gun and meeting back up at another friends room. We then had a box of Franzia that wasn't obeying the laws of gravity. So I tore the foil bag out of the box (they're made of plastic now) and began to syphon squeeze the remaining wine into my mouth while trying to hum bag pipe songs. The result was a gargly spitting choking sounds which resulted in several red wine stains all over the carpet.... fast foward past playing dodge ball with the leaky wine bag in the hall ways... and security is asking for me by the name of "AJ". Thankfully my student ID had my mother given christian name and I was in the clear.

Finally, time for bed. So we head toward Nate's room and he pauses, "My light wasn't off. Let me check this out." He goes into his room and comes back out with a smirk on his face. "Dude, there's people fucking on my bed."

With the obvious question I ask if his roommate had come back but no, "I don't know who these fuckers are."

With an air of self justification I declare, "That shit isn't right!" I push past him, shove open the door, flick on the light, raging into the room with my leaky wine bag in hand.... there by the bed was a naked black dude with his head down and next to him on the bed knelt a tiny thin naked asian girl trying to cover her face with their fuck sheets.

I slap the wine bag into his junk, buckling him a few inches forward. I slap him on the back and say, "Well done dude, but you got to leave." Then I jump up onto the bed and proceed to hop in circles around the naked asian girl while yelling, "TWAT! TWAT! TWAT! TWAT! TWAT! TWAT! TWAT!"

By this time a crowd had formed by the doorway, everybody was dying laughing and the two break-in love birds snuck into the neighboring room to get dressed and ditch out. I woke up on the floor. Nobody wanted to sleep in their bed.

Most of those details were told to me by Nate, and Paul complaining about his roommates side of the story. The rest of my memory sort of recalled and filled in the blanks. I don't think I've had 151 since.

[Jay Stratton]

I don't think anyone else has posted because I think you won....

[Enrique "Kiko"]

I don't think anyone else has posted because I think you *AJ Camacho* won....

AJ's epic mustache in his avatar sort of puts him in an "automatic win everytime" position in my opinion.

40 Year Old Virgin's drinking story is good regardless =D. What's gross is I think there are some nasty motherf@<+#r$ on here who would still hook up with that chick after what she does at 0:17.

[K Madden]

(too many to list)

[Cody Kietzman]

(too many to list)

I literally made this thread with you in mind Kendell...then you hit me with this shit...weak.

[K Madden]

I literally made this thread with you in mind Kendell...then you hit me with this shit...weak.

Oh really? hahaha Well lets see...
Should I talk about the time I got my boss to make out with a Thai Tranny, or bringing home a girl who pee'd in my bed?
Maybe when I carried around two girls in waist high water having sex while thousands of people were around?
Wearing stilts that made me 10' tall and walked around Bourbon St and Voodoo fest?
Having a drunk girl want to HAVE (yes...in that way) Clark T. Rex?
Getting drunk with Renato on a boat, night after night?
Getting an ENTIRE squad of police to pull me and my buds over, weapons drawn and ready to fire...because we waved at someone?
Choking out 2 security guards while dressed like Will Ferrell- More Cowbell skit...after winning a costume contest?
I could go on for days...