I Don't Know If I Like What I See In The Mirror Anymore, So It's Time To Walk Away.

[Tyler Timmermans]

your post reminds me of this song

[The kza]

time for an ego check

[Chicago Joe]

Slowing down is a good idea but don't stop man. Keep training and set a time to come back to competition. Meditation is a great idea and it's better done by going somewhere to learn it, like a Zen Buddhist center. Meditation thickens the gray matter in your brain, helps keep your brain healthy. Forget about how others view you, be the best that you can be and accept that there will always be people worse than you and people better than you, that's life. Think of it this way, you've done a lot of work on your physical game, now you've discovered the hole in your game is your mental game, so you need to find some kind of training to improve that - bjj for your mind. Time is precious so my advice is DONT WALK AWAY. Take a break from competition, reset, and adapt. Set for yourself specific and challenging goals there is NO other way to improvement.

[Justin W.]

Whether or not you freaking out has to do with OCD, you need to change your mindset. It sounds like things got too tough and you're quitting. Now don't get me wrong, EVERYONE needs a break but there's a difference between a break and quitting. This very moment you're going through, is what every champion has had to overcome and will have to overcome over and over again. This is the difference between champions and everyone else. Look at the root of the problem. Ask yourself why you get so messed up from fighting 15-16 year olds. Hard work isn't fun. Success isn't always fun, especially in the beginning. You have to ask yourself, do you really want this or not and if the answer is yes, then follow through on it. I remember reading about how you wanted to be champion and the only thing that's changed since then is a little adversity.

Don't blame things like OCD because some the greatest people in history have had OCD. Beethoven, Einstein, Michelangelo, Tesla, and Howard Hughes just to name a few. I have OCD and I'm grateful everyday for it. It can be the driving force that pushes you forward or your worst enemy. Use it instead of letting it use you.

You need to also stop making excuses. If you're mad that the kid took you down, then get better at wrestling. If the takedown was so garbage, your defense must've been worse. If it's because he's stronger, then get stronger. If he's holding you down, then work on getting out of stalling positions. Adversity breeds innovation, so be grateful when you encounter problems because it gives you the opportunity to better yourself.

A reporter once asked Mohammed Ali how many sit-ups could he do. His reply?

"I don’t count my sit-ups. I only start counting when it starts hurting. When I feel pain, that’s when I start counting, because that’s when it really counts."

[Jonathan Wylie]

Whether or not you freaking out has to do with OCD, you need to change your mindset. It sounds like things got too tough and you're quitting. Now don't get me wrong, EVERYONE needs a break but there's a difference between a break and quitting. This very moment you're going through, is what every champion has had to overcome and will have to overcome over and over again. This is the difference between champions and everyone else. Look at the root of the problem. Ask yourself why you get so messed up from fighting 15-16 year olds. Hard work isn't fun. Success isn't always fun, especially in the beginning. You have to ask yourself, do you really want this or not and if the answer is yes, then follow through on it. I remember reading about how you wanted to be champion and the only thing that's changed since then is a little adversity.

Don't blame things like OCD because some the greatest people in history have had OCD. Beethoven, Einstein, Michelangelo, Tesla, and Howard Hughes just to name a few. I have OCD and I'm grateful everyday for it. It can be the driving force that pushes you forward or your worst enemy. Use it instead of letting it use you.

You need to also stop making excuses. If you're mad that the kid took you down, then get better at wrestling. If the takedown was so garbage, your defense must've been worse. If it's because he's stronger, then get stronger. If he's holding you down, then work on getting out of stalling positions. Adversity breeds innovation, so be grateful when you encounter problems because it gives you the opportunity to better yourself.

A reporter once asked Mohammed Ali how many sit-ups could he do. His reply?

"I don’t count my sit-ups. I only start counting when it starts hurting. When I feel pain, that’s when I start counting, because that’s when it really counts."

I wonder if the ocd is a clinical diagnosis or a self diagnosis.

That Ali quote is brilliant!

[Brandon Woolsey]

I dont know you personally, only from the forums, but it seems like the same ole thing. The big kid is not so big compared to the competition anymore and the talent is now catching up to you now that size is no longer an advantage. Keep your head up and train hard.

[Dylan Ehrnreiter]

Best of luck Connor. I hope you can shift your focus away from winning competitions and back to enjoying yourself.

Maybe instead of getting mad at a kid for beating you, talk to him later and ask "How'd you hold me down so well?" One of the greatest moments of the early UFC (in my opinion) was when Carlos Newton tapped Pat Miltich, and after the fight Pat told Carlos "You've got to show me how you did that." and Carlos said "I will later.", then did his post fight interview.

Like someone else said, I enjoy seeing your posts on here, Connor. I look forward to seeing you come back from this.

[Griffin Lambert]

A reporter once asked Mohammed Ali how many sit-ups could he do. His reply?

"I don’t count my sit-ups. I only start counting when it starts hurting. When I feel pain, that’s when I start counting, because that’s when it really counts."

Awesome Quote!

[AJ Camacho]

Best of luck Connor. I hope you can shift your focus away from winning competitions and back to enjoying yourself.

Maybe instead of getting mad at a kid for beating you, talk to him later and ask "How'd you hold me down so well?" One of the greatest moments of the early UFC (in my opinion) was when Carlos Newton tapped Pat Miltich, and after the fight Pat told Carlos "You've got to show me how you did that." and Carlos said "I will later.", then did his post fight interview.

Like someone else said, I enjoy seeing your posts on here, Connor. I look forward to seeing you come back from this.

You bring up a really good point. Typically people take the sentiment, "Learn from your losses." as some sort of loser consolation after thought. As if the self torment and constant rethinking of the loss is how you grow. From my experience, learning from your losses, is a mindset. A mindset of openness where you are proactively seeking out and learning the techniques and perspectives of those that beat you.

For example, I never tell myself that someone beat me because of their size (even if it might be the case) because I can't control my opponent's size. But I can control myself. Even the most overpowered roided out kimura wouldn't have existed if I didn't flare my elbow out at the wrong time.

But yeah, every loss and challenge should be viewed as a new horizon of knowledge.

[bobby rivers]

Other people are really good too and want it and take it just as seriously, if not more than you do. Accept that and keep working. This realization helps the learnig mindset, AJ referred to.

Couple of our guys, including me, got used to(even expected) winning in the lower divisions. As you progress divisions you realize this isnt the case. Again,there are other extremely dedicated, talented, and well instructed competitors out there. No shame in loosing to them and twice as gratifying beating them.