Originally Posted by
Arman Fathi
True. Though there are some investments that are not all about the financial return. The return on investment in jiu jitsu for me is already paying off in the form of relationships, health and fitness, piece of mind regarding self-defense, and self-confidence. I haven't made a dime off of jiu jitsu to date, yet I keep training. No one said that one ought to quit their job or quit school in the pursuit of being a world champion. But it seems to me that a lot of having jiu jitsu in your life is a matter of driving to the academy and jumping in a class once in a while. Making time. As insensitive as that might be to some. A lot of your posts, with all due respect, seem like glass half-empty thinking and without getting into the details of your personal life, it would appear that you're making the choice that mat time is not high on your priority list, thus, opening a school wouldn't be either. A dream can become a goal simply by listing the steps you want to take to get there. "If you want it bad enough" will work for whoever wants to make it work and whoever develops a step-by-step plan to make it happen. This plan could be as simple as "Man, I haven't trained in months, let me hit up an intro class at a local academy. No obligation. Just try it out. Maybe I'll fall in love with it. If not, I'll leave and never come back. But I'll simply show up. And at the end of the day, at least I'll have made another connection and got in another hour or so of mat time." It's the whole concept of free will and living in the country that we do which gives us a chance at the life we want.
I want to recommend a book that I read that changed my life. "Success Principles" by Jack Canfield. A lot of your rhetoric comes off in a way that, frankly, doesn't do well in the 'inspiration' department. While I appreciate your opinion, there is a lot of "can't" in your thinking, and this book molded my thinking in a way that has brought me more success in all areas of my life as of late, while still finding time to balance my priorities. I've actually been able to train MORE and be MORE productive in other areas of my life in the same 24 hour period just from the advice in this book.
Other than that, good discussion.
Yeah for me the return of investment isn't just monetary. Just like you, I make no money off of it, but it helps me be a better person. I'm healthier both physically and mentally. I've earned no medals. I haven't ranked up. For years all I could do is drop in at open mats or get a free class here and there.
I appreciate the respect, and I understand how you could perceive me as a pessimist. Your assumption that I don't prioritize mat time is wrong because you are missing the details. "If you want it bad enough" sounds good, but like I said before, it doesn't take into consideration that sometimes goals take a long time. Some people can start making plans right from where they stand. Other people have to plan just to get themselves in position to train. So for you, planning to get to your dream is like, abcd. Someone else might have to plan a-s just to get to where you are in your point A. It took me 3 years just to get to your point A.
"But it seems to me that a lot of having jiu jitsu in your life is a matter of driving to the academy and jumping in a class once in a while."
What if someone doesn't have a car? What if a person is married but works an opposite shift to their wife, but someone has to stay home to take care of their autistic child who needs constant monitoring? What if, what if, what if? It's not as simple as "get in your car and go." Bruh, if it were that simple, I would've never stopped training.
You see, it's not that mat time isn't a priority or that my dream of having a school or getting a black belt isn't a priority. It's that for years it couldn't be a priority. And even now, while I've found a way to get back in the game, it's still not a higher priority than other things. My family comes first no matter what. If jiu jitsu gets to a point where I'm missing time with my family or I'm putting us in a financial bind, I'm taking another hiatus. I love BJJ but not more than my family. And because my family is my main priority, and my job is the way that I provide for my family, then my job becomes my second priority above BJJ.
My perspective isn't meant to be inspirational. It's meant to be cautionary. I've chased my dreams. Like I said, a lot of motivational speakers tell you to jump head first into your dream as if failure is impossible. I recently suffered a terrible hardship because I took that advice and my business failed. Hard. I'm not done though. I'm dusting myself off. I'm trying again. But this time, I know that it's smart to jump with a parachute. It's smarter to check the depth of the water before I dive in. If anything, I'm more inspirational than a lot of these inspirational book boys. I wanna know what slum they grew up in. I wanna know how they dealt with not having parents. I wanna know how they overcame mental illness and addiction and how they're still fighting to succeed. Most of these book writers are silver spoon boys who get to give inspirational advice from a golden throne. I'm not a pessimist. I'm an optimist. My optimism is simply cautious optimism because I've experienced some horrible things in life and I know that life can shit on your dreams at any time.
And CAN'T isn't a bad word. I can't time travel. I can't fly at will. I can't make a million dollars appear out of thin air just because I wish it would. Can't is important in dreaming. Because when you know that you can't do something, then you can focus on what you CAN do.
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