Are you soft?

[Mike May]

I'm not soft, I'm cuddly

[Brent Smith]

I really thought there would be more boner jokes in this one. You guys are slippin

[JHouse]

My "massage therapist" said my hands were soft, really soft. I replied with "I'm a programmer?!?"

[Keith Kavanagh]

Definitely flaccid right now bro, no rolling stiffys over here

[Kurzy]

Alright, I forgot I got a papercut today at work, right in the web between my index and middle finger;
And I just cracked my knuckles and it opened up again...

Maybe I AM soft...so what?

You're hard as fuck. If you were soft, there is no way you would have typed about opening that paper-cut up, with an open paper-cut.