I Don't Know If I Like What I See In The Mirror Anymore, So It's Time To Walk Away.

[J Grooms]

Best of luck Conner... you're in a crazy time in your life. I know that it's stressful. Go meditate on everything. Hope to see you come back strong. Godspeed my friend.

[Ste]

IMO, your over analyzing all of this. You've had a couple of losses and got pissy. You have no real 'problems' to speak off. You are putting way too much on this. Yes, take time off, just have fun for a while or whatever. But remember, there are way more legitimate things to be getting upset about in real life. Your a kid, remember that and act like one.

[Chris Ludington]

First, I can appreciate your openness and honesty. It is tough to just put it all out there like that. I am the absolute KING of beating myself BEFORE a fight. I have never performed well in competition and I can ALWAYS trace it back to the mental taxation I put on myself leading up to the tournament. I wish I had some advice to offer that would help you but I still haven't figured it out.

The only advice I can really give is that you need to work on your passing. It should not even be possible for a person to pull guard and then stall. If you can't pass guard then focus ALL of your training attention on fixing that. The next time some kid gets a garbage takedown and tries to stall, pass, sweep, whatever you need to do, and then play YOUR game. Taking a step back can be helpful for sure - but just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.

Good luck to you young fellow.

[Jesse Bell]

Conner I saw your fight and you are over reacting. Work your jaws of life, whip up and mount escapes. There were brain farts in your technique in half guard. Just train harder, change your nickname to goldy locks and step your game up. Divisions get harder.

[Louis Ho]

I totally agree with Jesse. Instead of this emotional BS, just train to fix your weaknesses. Plug them holes. You can come to Montreal and I'll help you out.

[Jason Hyatt]

Conner,

There's a lot of advice here and I think regardless of which path you choose to follow I hope you find some peace. I don't think there's anything wrong with taking some time off to re-evaluate if that's what you really feel needs to happen. I know you and your dad are very close and those discussions with him are going to help you find your way. We don't live in your situation so we don't know how you're truly feeling inside; for the most part all we can do is project what we *think* we know onto you and offer advice from those assumptions. "We" includes me.

To that end, I hope you'll keep in mind that you ARE still young. You don't have to choose your life's path at 13. If MMA is where your heart is, it will still be there in 3, 6, 12 months. Jiu jitsu isn't going anywhere. Yes, if you want to be a champion it's going to take an obscene amount of work -- and that includes pushing past very serious mental blocks like crushing disappointment, frustration, and anxiety. It's up to you to determine whether your goals and your expectations are worth your effort. You know as much as anyone that no one can do it for you. Is it really the end of the world if you stop competing for a while? I dunno. Maybe the ring rust will be there when you come back, maybe it won't. Maybe you'll have that competitive fire back, maybe it won't ever come back.

Personally, I've had very little competitive success. I didn't start training until I was 33 and I'm 1-5 in comp. I don't have much in the way of athleticism or explosiveness and my cardio is shit. I've had set back after set back but the gym is always there when I come back and I always feel like a new man when I can get back on the mats. Clearly I'll never be a champion because I haven't put the work and sacrifice in for it and I don't plan to. But I LOVE jiu jitsu. I love it like it's family. I will never, ever stop training JJ because it is too much a part of me. Saying "I'm quitting jiu jitsu" would be like saying "I'm quitting water." Now I recognize that not competing will slow my progression in terms of getting my purple belt, etc, but it won't stop me. It is a lifelong path and like all lifelong paths, it has easy days and rough days but you stay on the path because the journey is meaningful.

I don't know what your path is and you don't either. That's OK. There is a Buddhist saying about seeking a path with a heart. If you find the path you are on does not have a heart, then drop it without another thought. I hope you are able to find happiness and I hope you can let jiu jitsu help you find it again.

[Eddie Bravo]

Lots of great advice on this thread. Take all the time off you need Conner, I'm sure you'll come back stronger than ever. You are very young, you still have so much to learn about jiu jitsu and especially life. I know this has been said before but I'll say it one more time, you need to learn how to not let losses get you depressed. Losses suck but everyone loses. Champions are masters of learning from losses. Helio used to take his boys out to ice cream if they lost and nothing if they won, I think that is genius, no matter what you end up doing I will always have love for ya, even if you decide to pursue badminton

[lates85]

[Beefheart]

good luck man, very mature decision to walk away and take a break instead of letting the stress turn you into a p.o.s.

at your age, raging on people who aren't playing fair or whatever is pretty common and so is raging against the world, you'll over come this eventually,, stay on the mats and don't get rusty,, but don't do it if it isn't fun, at least for a while. take this time to learn and develop your game and enjoy your life and relax and get back and be 2x the killer you was before, man. good luck.

[K Madden]

(everything everyone else said- inserted here)
And you are HOW OLD?! Wise beyond your years bud.
I agree with a break every now and again...just don't mistake a break for a GOOD thing. Rep the reps, do the small things, fight the small fights at the gym. Those help on a HUGE level for kids your age...EVERYONE will attest to that.
If there is anything that helps, its hitting the gym, enjoying the work out, sweating your ass off and beating your frustrations into a punching bag and triangle chokes.

If NOTHING else, keep posting here- there are only a few people that I pay attention to on this forum, you are one of them.
Keeps you thinking about it The Fam is here.